Dear Simon, here’s your golden ticket
Movie matchup no. 16
A surprisingly even matchup here! Two pretty good movies.
Look, I know everyone just adores Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because of Gene Wilder, and yes, he’s great. And yes, the movie overall is solid. But it’s also super weird and kind of uncomfortable in some parts.
And Love, Simon is charming and sweet and full of heart, but it’s also very cheesy and sometimes feels too surface-level.
Still, I enjoy both these films, and they gave me quite a challenge for this writeup.
Summaries
Love, Simon
A young coming-of-age tale about a teenage boy, Simon Spier, goes through a different kind of Romeo and Juliet story. Simon has a love connection with a boy, Blue, by email, but the only problem is that Simon has no idea who he’s talking to. Simon must discover who that boy is — who Blue is. Along the way, he tries to find himself as well. — Paul
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The world is astounded when Willy Wonka, for years a recluse in his factory, announces that five lucky people will be given a tour of the factory, shown all the secrets of his amazing candy, and one will win a lifetime supply of Wonka chocolate. Nobody wants the prize more than young Charlie, but as his family is so poor that buying even one bar of chocolate is a treat, buying enough bars to find one of the five golden tickets is unlikely in the extreme. But in movieland, magic can happen. Charlie, along with four somewhat odious other children, get the chance of a lifetime and a tour of the factory. Along the way, mild disasters befall each of the odious children, but can Charlie beat the odds and grab the brass ring? — Rick Munoz
A couple of sweet boys
Let’s start off on a high note.
Both Simon Spier and Charlie Bucket, the protagonists of each story, are really great boys, and there are so many things to love about each of them. They honestly have a lot in common, so I thought I’d highlight a few of those commonalities.
Kindness
Probably what Charlie Bucket is best known for is how kind he is. I think my favorite moment of Charlie being nice is when he uses his extra money to buy his grandpa a chocolate bar.
I mean, he and his family don’t have much, and his mom is making like cabbage soup or something every night, and here he is buying his grandpa some candy. And yes, he did have some himself with the money he found in the gutter, but the fact that he doesn’t use it all for himself is evidence of how kind he is.
Not only that, he’s always concerned for the welfare of the other kids all the way up until the end, proving that his heart is perpetually in the right place. He cares for others and doesn’t even want terrible people to suffer.
On the flip side, Simon may not be quite as kind, but he’s always welcoming and nice to everyone from his friends to his family. It’s relatively easy for him to make friends because of how kind he is, despite his general awkwardness. But because he’s so warm and has that intangible ability to just connect with people. I don’t really have a specific example of his kindness in action, mostly because it’s just inherent in every small interaction with people. He’s just a good person.
Selflessness
Similarly, they’re both really selfless.
Charlie Bucket manages to survive the gauntlet that is Wonka’s chocolate factory, and then after all that, Wonka tells him that because he and Grandpa Joe drank some of that super fizzy whatever that he has been disqualified. So all he gets is an Everlasting Gobstopper.
I mean, any kid would be devastated at that point. To make it to the end and then not get their lifetime supply of chocolate? I’d be furious. I’d probably do whatever it took to get back at Wonka.
But no, here comes sweet Charlie Bucket who, in response to Grandpa Joe’s rage that they should take the Gobstopper to Slugworth, just quietly gives the candy back to Wonka. He’s so against hurting others that he refuses to do so, even if it would mean personal gain.
Meanwhile, Simon is dealing with a ton in his life. He’s closeted and is struggling with that and the tension of trying to find the right moment to come out, as well as balancing the fears of how his parents and friends will react and so on. But amid all this turmoil, he manages to support his friends and listen to their much less meaningful every-day struggles with romance and homework and whatever.
And yes, I know that Simon does some things he’s probably not proud of, like driving Nick and Abby apart, but that’s only because he was being blackmailed. Is there an argument there that he could have been ultimately selfless and just told Martin he wouldn’t try and get him and Abby together? I mean, maybe? But to do that he would have to willingly give up the biggest moment he had left: coming out. And I’m sorry, but that’s too big for him to just throw away to make a point. (Also it’s just so sad that he still gets that moment taken from him despite his best efforts.)
Patience
Finally, they’re both patient.
Charlie has to deal with four pretty awful kids who may or may not represent some of the seven deadly sins. Augustus Gloop is out here eating everything in sight (but like, who can blame him), so he’s gluttony. Violet Beauregarde chews gum all day long to break a record, so she’s pride. Veruca Salt wants everything in the world, so she’s greed. And Mike Teavee is obsessed with TV (uh… so am I), so he’s sloth. There’s also an argument that Charlie is lust because he wants that golden ticket so badly, but we won’t get into that.
Point is, Charlie is great and the other kids suck. They’re constantly belittling him and others, trying to get to things first, or just being rude in general. And there he is just plugging through it all and dealing with awful people left and right, and he manages to make it just fine.
Simon also has to deal with some stupid people. I’m going to just say his friends aren’t that amazing. They’re certainly not bad, and they’re all supportive of him coming out, but beyond that they’re just kind of dumb. But they’re also teenagers, so I suppose that makes sense.
But then he has to deal with bullies and a well-meaning but cartoonish vice principal. And then on top of all of that, he for some reason is the one that has to apologize to his friends even though he was the one being blackmailed and had his moment of coming out taken away? I mean, I’m cishet but that doesn’t make any sense to me. Like yeah, they can be hurt for a second I guess, but coming out is a big deal that we cishet people just don’t have to worry about and don’t understand, and neither could they. So cut the guy some slack. Go get mad at Martin instead. Geez.
So anyway, kudos to Simon for staying so patient with these silly kids.
Metaphor vs. reality
Let’s pause for a sec and talk a bit about metaphors.
Metaphors are great. They’re a powerful storytelling tool that opens up tons of possibilities and helps paint wonderful pictures for readers or audiences that a regular comparison might not be able to do.
But they’re also kind of complicated, and because they’re so open to interpretation, people can take them to mean several different things.
Still, that kind of flexibility is tough to achieve, so a great metaphor can be really impactful when done well.
Yet there’s a lot of value in non-metaphor stories, things that just tell it like it is and get specific and detailed and are very straightforward.
That’s just a lot of preamble to say that it’s fun that on one hand we get a realistic story about a specific thing in Love, Simon and a more fantastical story about a thing that can actually be a stand-in for really anything you want it to be in Willy Wonka.
And they both kind of deal with the same plot: a boy longs for something they can’t have but then they end up getting it after going through some character-building moments.
Reality can be tough
Love, Simon has a singular purpose: to tell the story of a closeted gay teen who struggles to balance who he wants and needs to be with who people expect him to be. It’s a touching story full of heart, and I think it achieves its purpose.
What I think works so well about it is that, due to its highly specific and targeted nature, it gives people in the LGBTQIA+ community clear representation, which is something a lot more meaningful than I’ll ever fully comprehend.
It’s a story that really doesn’t need a metaphor to communicate its meaning, and in fact would probably only be muddied by one in the long run. Since the emotions and the details get a little complicated in a story like this, having it just play out as it is helps everything come through the way it’s supposed to.
Fantasyland is fun
Meanwhile, Willy Wonka leaves plenty of room for interpretation in its story, allowing for meaning to be found at an individual level. So even though the story is about a kid who gets to go to a legendary chocolate factory full of whimsy and spectacle, anybody can relate to it. Mostly because it’s purely fantasy. This situation would never happen in real life. So on the surface, it’s just a fun story we can get lost in.
But below that is a story that’s told in such a universal way that it can apply to many different situations. Maybe there are people who can take it literally, hoping for a rags-to-riches story in their own lives. Or maybe some can take Charlie’s longing for chocolate to represent their longing for some long-lost relationship in their lives. Or longing for inner peace. Or for meaning in their lives.
Maybe Simon Spier watches this movie and identifies with Charlie’s situation and applies it to his, realizing he too longs to be free—but that for him it means being free from the double life he’s been living for too long.
Anyway, the point is that there’s value in both types of storytelling, and it really just depends on what the purpose is that will determine which is the right fit.
To the factory!
So for this last bit, it’s time to get silly. Because that’s what we do here.
My question is, would the kids from Love, Simon make it through Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?
First off, we need to name the players. And I had to remove the ones who would obviously make it with no problem, and that includes:
- Ethan
- Bram
- Nora
They’re all the best and don’t have any real weaknesses that could potentially cause them to fail.
I also left out all the people who we don’t care about or who aren’t really developed enough in the movie to earn a spot. Which leaves us with these five kids:
- Abby Susso
- Leah Burke
- Martin Addison
- Nick Eisner
- Simon Spier
Round 1: The chocolate river
I think the first kid gone is pretty obvious. There’s no way Martin makes it out of the factory at all, and he’s definitely gone in the first room. Why? Because he’s the worst. He wouldn’t jump in the chocolate river because he wants to eat/drink it all, he’d jump in it because he’s super rude and has zero respect for anyone besides himself.
And look, I’d also love to jump in a chocolate river because duh, but especially in this context I would absolutely restrain myself because that’s just rude.
Anyway, Martin is trash because he not only blackmails Simon, he outs Simon and takes that moment away from him. And also he stalks Abby. So he’s out.
Good riddance, Martin.
Round 2: The blueberry
Leah turns into the blueberry, not because she’s a terrible person, but she just has some pretty big flaws. (She probably grabs the gum out of spite when Simon’s like, “Hey, he said it’s not ready” and she just rolls her eyes and eats it.) Like yeah, it sucks that she was in love with Simon, who could never love her back, but that doesn’t mean she can act like she did after all the truth came out.
And I’m especially bugged that she was mad at Simon because he chose to come out to Abby first and not her. First of all, his choice! Goodness! Second of all, what a petty thing to get all huffy about. How about just support him when he needs it?
Sure, she gets over it and comes around and great. But any problem she has to face just pales in comparison to being publicly outed and not being able to do it on your own terms. Heartbreak happens to everyone, so get over it.
Boo Leah.
Round 3: The garbage chute
Nick is next to go. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great kid and is overall very supportive of Simon. He’s a solid friend and anyone would be lucky to have a Nick in their lives.
But he comes up short and is still rude to Simon after Martin leaks the truth to the whole school. He’s made because Simon kept him and Abby apart. Which, yeah, is a frustrating thing. But then when you find out it’s because Simon was being blackmailed? That’s when you have more sympathy.
Because you still managed to end up together, but Simon is still reeling from everything and has to deal with the fallout way more. So even though he’s not actual human trash like Martin, Nick’s lack of understanding gets him falling down the garbage chute.
Bye, Nick.
Round 4: The TV shrink room
So now we have Abby and Simon left. And it’s probably pretty obvious that Abby’s the next to go.
Much like Mike Teavee is to Charlie, Abby is probably the nicest to Simon. I think it’s pretty meaningful that Simon did choose to come out to her first, and if that’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for me. So yeah, she’s definitely the least offensive of the bunch to me.
But still, much like Nick, she wasn’t great to Simon after he was outed and she wasn’t super there for him. Which is kind of a betrayal after he showed so much trust to her.
Again, does being blackmailed not mean anything to these people? Come on.
So Abby gets turned into a tiny version of herself.
The winner: Simon!
I mean, duh. He has his flaws but ultimately he’s the one who has to deal with the most crap and puts up with so many people. He battles so much anxiety and fear and manages to come out on top.
Now go get Bram in your flying elevator and whisk him away on an adventure, Simon!
Just be nice
Like I said, both Simon and Charlie are nice people who deserved kindness in return. But unfortunately both of them faced some not-so-nice people. Which is a shame.
But if there’s a lesson from either of them, it’s that we should strive to be kinder to each other. Be like Charlie, who was patient and loving to everyone around him. Be like Simon, who cared so much about others and tried to help them all be happy even when he wasn’t. Heck, be like Simon’s mom, Emily, who’s an angel in all the ways and so loving and sweet.
The world needs more kindness and empathy, and I think these people can help us see how.
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