Writing is a Selfish Task — But It Needs to Be
By Nutschell Anne Windsor (adapted from original publication on The Writing Nut, Feb. 2014)
I’ve always put my family and friends, work, critique group, writing non-profit tasks and other responsibilities ahead of my writing. When a loved one calls with a request, I drop whatever I’m doing to help. Sometimes, the task is simple and takes fifteen minutes; other times, it requires all of my mental and physical powers. Hours later, I’m done, but left too exhausted to return to my interrupted activity — usually writing or editing.
I offer the same level of dedication to all of my groups. When beloved writing organizations, my martial arts brethren and other social groups ask, I deliver. Whatever little time I have left is often taken up by menial but necessary chores — keeping a livable house and paying the bills.
Meanwhile, my writing waits.
We all play different roles. As much as I identify as writer, I also identify as daughter, sister, cousin, friend, leader, employee, blogger, martial artist. If I am to be happy, I must find a way to balance the way in which I spend my time on all of the things that matter to me.
As it stands, however, the one role which I tend to set aside often is my role as writer. Why?
Because it is the one role above all that directly relates to ME and me alone. All the other roles point to relationships I have with others.
I was brought up to put others needs before my own, and there really is nothing wrong with that. But when I started writing with the goal of publication in mind, I realized that this mindset needed to change.
If I kept putting everything and everyone else (dirty laundry, messy house, socializing, etc.) before my own writing, I would never get published.
And if I did ever make it to publication, it would not be on my intended timeline.
Generosity and selflessness are traits I value greatly in myself and in others. But just because they are good character traits (ones whichI believe we should all strive for as engaged members of the human race) doesn’t mean that the opposite traits are necessarily evil.
The thing is, life is all about balance. And as bad as they sound, stinginess and selfishness actually have a use in our lives.
- To be stingy means: to be hesitant to give or to spend time or money.
- To be selfish means: to be dedicated to caring for oneself or primarily concerned with one’s interests.
Both are necessary if one is to achieve success in writing — or in any art, really. We can’t produce or create if we don’t dedicate ample time to produce or create.
Writing is a stingy, selfish task, and it needs to be.
To be a writer (or any creative artist, for that matter), one must prioritize his or her art and craft above most other things. Writers must demand time for themselves, away from loved ones and day jobs and adult responsibilities.
Writing takes time and focus — and a lot of it. The only way to improve the quality of the craft is through constant practice. Even a strong, instinctive voice needs to be developed and nurtured. Good art cannot be rushed.
Others may think of us writers as selfish people. They may not understand that the time we spend daydreaming and reading and writing is not only necessary for our happiness; it is what we are called to do. It is our vocation.
When we’re called to write, to compose, to create from deep within, writing isn’t a hobby or a passing dream. Rather, it is as essential as air and food and water. Writing fulfills emotional, mental, physical and spiritual needs — to escape, to fulfill a fantasy, to leave one’s mark in the world. Whatever the reason, a writer needs to write.
Author Justine Musk explains it beautifully in her post, Why You Need to Write Like a Bad Girl, Part Two: Selfish:
“The need to write isn’t about the desire to find meaning in the world, but to make meaning. If you have it, you know it; it’s lived inside you from a young age and will never leave. It will continue to call and nag and eat away at your soul until you start to do something about it. To deny it, to allow others to deny it, is to kill off a part of your personhood.”
Writing is not only what we do. It is who we are.
And it is an injustice to deny ourselves the joy of being who we’re meant to be, simply because other people might perceive it as silly or juvenile or meaningless or useless.
The act of writing is important to be true to the writer’s personality, to satisfy the writer’s spirit. We must stop thinking of it as sometime that can be set aside, something that can wait until “later.” Because later may never come.
Following one’s vocation breeds content and happiness, both emotions that all people must strive for. Because the happier we are, the more productive we are as members of society.
To achieve balance and happiness, to be successful, to be productive: we must make sure that the time we dedicate to ourselves and our craft is equal to the time we devote to others.
Time is the writer’s currency. Unlike money, time is finite—and always counting down. There is no next paycheck of time. We cannot produce more of it, and once spent, it cannot be refunded or retrieved. Time is the writer’s most valuable asset. Every moment spent distracted from our craft is a moment that cannot be replaced.
We must make every heartbeat count.
That simple phrase is one of two mantras I strive to live by (the other is to always leave a place better than I found it.).
“We must make every heartbeat count” is the mantra I always shared with my high school English students. It’s the one thing I still hope they will remember about my class, above all the other lessons I taught.
Steve Jobs once said:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
The reality is, we don’t know how much time we are given on this earth. We need to make sure every second of our lives is spent doing a task that means something to us, whether it’s spending time with loved ones or spending time working on a craft we love.
So, I say to you: Be a wonderful parent, a super spouse/partner, a good child, a great friend, an efficient leader and a studious worker. But also strive to be a real writer.
Your relationships are all important, but YOU are important too. Your happiness matters just as much as other people’s. Go ahead and be selfish, and know that the people who truly love you will understand.
About the Author
Nutschell Anne Windsor is President and Founder of the Children’s Book Writers of Los Angeles, Co-Creator of the Story Sprouts Writing Resource and Anthology series for writers and teachers, Assistant Regional Advisor for the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and Online Creative Writing and Events Representative with the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program. When she’s not juggling her writing organizational balls, you can find her writing in a café, dabbling in photography, practicing martial arts and otherwise finding ways — large and small — to help out and encourage family and friends.
