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How I Found Purpose In Family

Regardless, that’s blood…
Photo by Mike Scheid on Unsplash

The Ones We Don’t Choose

Family is our God-given support system.

Love is essential to the human being. We are social beings. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, families are necessary for our safety, as well as our need for love and belonging. Family is the first support system we get in this world, and where we develop our core beliefs and values. Family is the people we’re connected with more immediate than the rest of the world.

As individually we are not, families are not perfect. Families fight and go through things, too. It is common for people to treat those close to them worse because those are the ones we take for granted. No matter what hardships families face they must overcome. Besides, nothing can ever change the fact that they are still family.

A Loving, Crazy Ass Family

It took a village.

I was fortunate to grow up in a big family. I was not only raised by my mother and father, but my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and older cousins, all on both sides of my family. Though they may all be from the same crazy ass family, each of these people have experienced life differently, so I was able to gain perspective from more than my parents.

From the outside looking in, my family can be overwhelming. My father alone has 10 brothers and sisters, each one full of personality. If you get them under the same roof along with my cousins, there will be enough food and drank to go around, a lot of laughter, and even more shit talking to follow.

Beneath it all, there is a lot of love.

Being with family and enjoying memorable times together is really just the icing on the cake. The real reason of being in each other’s lives is to be there for one another by holding each other accountable.

The bond we have with each other is too strong to let someone disrespect someone else, or even themselves, and not let them know about it. The love we have for each other runs too deep to see someone who may be suffering, and not intervene.

Having unconditional love for one another is the glue that keeps us together.

Whether it was dealing with death, conflict between any of us, or whatever falls in the category of “family business”, my family has never given up on each other. Even through fighting and periods of not speaking, there always seems to be something that tugs on our hearts urging us to make amends with each other.

My sisters and I back in like ‘95.

Use, Don’t Abuse

In today’s world filled with depression and quick fixes, you’re going to need somebody.

Use your family. You’re stuck with these people to an extent anyways.

Use each other for support emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Uplift each other. Encourage each other. Forgive each other. Vent to each other. Tell the truth to each other. Be proud of each other. Support each other. Help each other whenever you can.

Use each other wisely, do not abuse each other. No one is your doormat. Balance your bitchin’ out with something happy. Do not give criticism without some positive words as well.

Y’all gon’ sit down and have good time this reunion, drink some wine like communion. Act like everything’s fine and if it isn’t we ain’t letting everybody in our family business.” -The ’04 Kanye West

Your Human Family

There is something about knowing where we come that gives us a better sense of who we are. What is that thing that still compels us to meet a parent that may have left us? What is that thing that makes us want to meet a brother, sister, or cousin that we didn’t know existed? What is it that makes a young child know to love their baby brother or sister so deeply?

Within each family lies roots that we all sprouted from, which makes the term family tree so fitting.

Regardless of our immediate family situations, consider that these people share our blood the most. Through our extended families consider that these people are of the same family tree, and that we grow from the same roots and branches that support one another.

In my experience, I have found it fitting to be a little more trusting and a little more forgiving when it comes to family because no matter what, they will still be family.

Always remember your rightful place as part of the human family.

As humans we’re all part of the same struggle. We all rely on each other. We all need food, water, and shelter. We all need some type of love. Underneath our skin, we all bleed the same. We’re more alike than we are different.

Racism makes no sense when we dress in cloths from China, drive cars from Germany, drink beer imported from Canada, while eating at a Mexican restaurant.

Do not neglect members of the human family. If you can help someone, why wouldn’t you? Would you not want the same? Human survival depends on every color of the spectrum of mankind. To do our part to contribute to the togetherness of the human family is to individually do our very best.