I Don’t Know What to Write

…But I have something to say

Julia Rose
Sep 6, 2018 · 3 min read

I published a big story two days ago. Big because it took a lot out of me to write, publish, and promote a story about a relationship that occupied my life and mind for years.

It’s personal. I write about my own experience, but this was particularly honest. It might be the first proper story I’ve tried to tell. I’m emotionally invested in every word on the page and how you, the reader, receives it.

And now I’m obsessing over it. I’m refreshing Medium to see what people think, how many reads it gets, and how many fans I have.

That’s all I’ve done today. I’m ashamed to admit it. (I mean, I ran some errands too, but yeah).

I’m more attached to writing than ever before

I’m friggin’ in it right now.

Anyone else?

The more I write, the more I need to write.

I’ve been writing almost every day for the last two weeks. Not everything has been published here, but I’ve been writing for jobs, applications, and myself. Whereas writing in my own voice was uncomfortable a few months ago, now not writing feels foreign. As foreign as it feels not to dance (which for me, is foreign).

Today, I feel strongly about one thing and one thing only.

I do not know, specifically, what to write.

But I know I have something to say.

I can feel it in my body.

This is new. Like an emotion that needs release, I have pent up energy. I have a tight chest. I feel a sense of urgency.

I have nothing to say but I can tell I have a lot to say. (Maybe other writers experience this?)

Writing on Medium

Popular writer, Shannon Ashley recently wrote: “If you’ve got a message to give, keep writing. Don’t quit. Someone out there needs to hear from you.”

And that’s why I’m here. I don’t know if this post has a message, or if my messages even ‘matter’.

I’m here because sharing is powerful. It connects us.

Sharing shows me I have more in common with someone than I thought. It gives you a reason to reach out to me. If my writing makes you think — I’m winning. If it makes you feel — we’re winning.

I’m learning quite a bit by publishing regularly.

I like the titles and subtitles. I like playing around with which sentences I might make bold, italics, or a quote. I like clicking it on and off. I like typing on a clean, white background. The platform is, in a word, satisfying.

I’m paying attention. To you. The people on Medium. These people are talented as hell. The readers are engaged and leave feedback. Feedback on your writing? It’s rare. Knowing which sentences you like is brilliant. I’m paying attention to what people write, what I like, what you like, and what’s new in the world of ideas. I check Medium like it’s the news — and it’s way better.

I’m “Shipping”. I’ve learned this is a thing writers on Medium say. And I love it. The phrase ‘real artists ship’ is a swift kick in the pants. It means do the work. Stop thinking about the work. Publish the work.


What did I write today? I’m not really sure. But I feel better!

And with that, let’s ship.


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Stories that matter. Emotion first and foremost.

Julia Rose

Written by

I write about relationships, self-development, growth (& sometimes writing, how meta). Canadian. @juliarosecontent @heyjuliarose

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Stories that matter. Emotion first and foremost.

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