I’m Cold and I Will Always Be

Abdullah AlShawaf
Oct 11, 2019 · 2 min read

My hands are always cold
that’s how I like them.
In winter
they remain at the same temperature
because they don’t feel
what they are made of
— cold.

My eyes can not freeze
that’s what saved them
from turning like me,
that’s the only difference between zombies and me.

All this started
when my heart refused to feel
any anxious or happiness
sadness is not mentioned, as she became a part of me.

Smiling to people — a hard process
as it requires, a lot of practice
to look real.

The hardest can be
when someone tells a joke
and expect me
to laugh with a joyful look.

I’m not happy, and I’m not willing to be
not after I saw what I shouldn’t have seen.

I saw humans starving to death,
hoping that death would release them
from their pain.

I saw wars cutting breaths
and cutting lives as well,
while victims are women and children
who will always dream
of peace.

I saw wealthy, never been hungry — creatures
end their lives for a little anxious,
while cancer fighters, fight to live
from the beginning to their last breaths.

Now, I’m walking the line between becoming a human
or turning into freak.

When I try to look, I look from the window
of the things I shouldn’t have seen.

That’s why I’m cold, and I will always be.

Humans’ eyeballs tend to not freeze even at subzero temperatures. It’s confirmed scientifically here.
That’s why they have forbidden me from transforming and refused to become a part of my frozen body.
I’m grateful to them in some way.

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Abdullah AlShawaf

Written by

I'm a Palestinian student who loves poetry, personal development, and humor. I also like programming, which I presented here: https://abdallah-alshawaf.space

Scribe

Scribe

Stories that matter. Emotion first and foremost.

Abdullah AlShawaf

Written by

I'm a Palestinian student who loves poetry, personal development, and humor. I also like programming, which I presented here: https://abdallah-alshawaf.space

Scribe

Scribe

Stories that matter. Emotion first and foremost.

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