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It Was Just a Dream

Or was it?

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

I had a dream
about her last night
it’s so clear to me
as I recite
she was far from me
yet I could see her vividly
seemed unearthly real
was it really just a reverie?

she looked like an angel
smiled like her too
her skin still looked old
but her face, as fresh as dew

“Amma!” I bawled
ran towards her unappalled
mixed emotions
some unexplained commotion
one moment I cried
another moment I danced with joy
as I ran like a deer
it all seemed so real

as I got close to her
I bent to give her a hug
I held her tight
I praised my luck
but that is when she started
becoming blur
but before vanishing like mist
she said something like this
“Let me go now
I also need to rest
you can’t keep coming back here
to find me, for it causes distress
you’re looking in the wrong places
for I am not outside
I am now inside you
that’s where I reside
I am not tactile
but I am here now
with you, more than ever
you have my blessings, my child”
and then she just smiled.

as I wove the beads of my tears
I confronted my greatest fear
my grandma, my love, my dear
was beginning to disappear
I could still feel her but
she was now
weightless, faceless, bodiless.

when my hug was left hollow
I realized it was just a dream,
but it got me closer to my Amma,
who is here now, just unseen.



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