Note to Self: Perfectionism and the Right to Rest
Reclaiming our bodies as sites of resistance.
I used to say, “I’m a perfectionist,” with a mix of self-criticism and condescension — as if sacrificing my body and soul to meet deadlines was something to brag about.
There was a time when I would wake up at 5:00 am and complete a full ashtanga practice, read the Economist with a cup of coffee, and then go to the library to work on a thesis. I had this fully formed image of who I had to be to be successful: disciplined, smart, hardworking, driven. Pursuing this idealized version of myself kept me working my body to exhaustion day in and day out. I got so good at ignoring my body’s needs I hardly noticed when my period stopped coming, and I fooled myself into believing that the constant injuries were a sign of discipline (Must be doing something right).
Grind culture’s idea of success centers around constant overworking. Whenever we check that box, we get a surge of validation — starting with our inner judge that congratulates us for working hard—such a good girl.
Tricia Hersey recounts how we are socialized into becoming perfectionist agents of grind culture:
I would volunteer in my son’s third grade classroom weekly and notice the young children being told “hold your pee. Bathroom…
