We Had a Good Time Didn’t We?

Poem

Photograph by Ema Dumitru

let me spend all my good living on you
i have no plans, only characters

survivors of the unanswerable questions of self
addicted to the next bite of fear

let me acquaint you with my nature, shut
like your eyes when you kiss

if the memory develops a space for us
let this be where i feed my body to an impossible day

where i hold you constantly
whether i am there or not

we’re all dreamers, you say
yet i never dream, i remember

in the veiled world, i demand to know
more than dreams of childhood

the disasters and catastrophes
that release us into the world

with a set of instructions, and no desire
so we all go back asking

what am i for?
timidly at first, then bolder

performing in the great darkness
the sustaining ritual of loving oneself.