Hush Not, Woman!
From one woman to another, my love letter to you.
Especially dedicated to all my girlies; the ones who have turned strangers, the ones present, the ones past, the ones to come, and the ones singing with the angels, thank you for the beautiful gift of genuine female friendships.
Ma chère,
I feel it might be a little pedantic to ask how you are because I know in some way or another, you are not fine. I know because my story bears some elements of semblance to yours; in the identity we carry as women.
As I pen this letter down, I hope the fabrics of your heart are inclined to soak it all in. I want to share some of my truths with you and in doing so, I wish to the stars that you are able to see my love imbued in the ink of this pen, and these not-so-flowery words. I know you’ve been told your whole life, that silence is the mark of a true and virtuous woman, that you’re to be invisible and your voice should be muted, but here is me telling you otherwise now.
Silence is not always golden, it has rusts and decay too and so it’s okay to speak.
It’s okay to breathe life into your words. Give room for your song to soar and your roar to echo, despite the naysayers, in spite of the naysayers.
I know you struggle. I know your struggles like the lines of my palms because I recognize them in mine. Still, I am sorry. I am sorry about the controls that tell you where to step your feet, where you should sit, what your life’s purpose should be, and how far you can fly, or not. I’m sorry about those who snatch from you. I’m deeply sorry about those who take your voice, make it theirs, and try to render you mute; the dictators who dictate what you can and cannot say, what you can and cannot do, who you can and cannot be. Pay them no heed. Be! Say! Do!
What are you doing listening to those who tell you at what tables you ought to sit and ought not to sit? What are you doing entertaining the bare minimum in the recognition and respect you ought to be accorded, first as a human then as a woman? What are you doing listening to those who constantly remind you that you do not possess the bones to break ground?
Here, they say “you have seven bones and we have nine so you should know your place and stick to it.” Remember that even the proud feline with nine lives eventually knows the caress of death’s warm visit.
They tell you, you have no right to exist loud and bold, side by side with them. Find the strength to stand tall, it is within you, it has always been. This is your time! Your time to break free from the breakers who whip and break you into silence. Before you let any man sweep you off your feet, be sure he can bask in your light without shrinking and will not seek to dim it. Strive to embrace your imperfections and stay true to yourself.
- You are strong.
- You are beautiful.
- You are brave.
- You are resilient.
- You matter.
- You are magic.
Walk with a spring in your step even on days when it’s hard to even try, walk with your shoulders squared. Live with your chin up, your head raised, your gaze unflinching, and your standards, unswayed, and most importantly, with your voice unmuted!
With love,
Daphne Adeola.
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