Whispers in the Head
Chapter 2 : A New Beginning
It’s 3.00 p.m. and Hans was at his therapy session, after his tiring day at home.
"Doctor, I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I remember being at your clinic, and then after sleeping, I had a dream. It was like I woke up in my house and saw Sarah and my daughter there. I couldn’t believe it was a dream because it was so vivid. I love her. I don’t remember anything about her death - but why?" Hans started to cry.
Dr. Miller gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hans, you were in a coma. Do you remember when she came back from New York and surprised you? It was the day of a police gang war, and she was shot dead in your arms. You sustained severe head injuries and remained in a coma for two years. We were relieved when you woke up, but things took a turn for the worse. You kept saying, 'Sarah broke up with me. I love her. I need her, but she left me.' The doctor treating you advised against revealing the truth about her death during therapy, but I couldn’t hold back that day, so I told you the truth”.
Hans openly wept, his tears mixing with the evening chill. Dr. Miller embraced him in a comforting hug.
At 8:00 p.m, Hans, accepting the reality, had his dinner and slept.
The next morning, he woke up with Sarah next to him. He stood up and wiped his eyes, realizing he was alone. It was too early in the morning, around 6 a.m. He accidentally saw himself in the mirror. He looked so bad, with thin abs and pale skin. He remembered how he was before Sarah's death.
"Hans, listen to me. I know it’s hard for us to accept the truth, but we are police officers, and we promised to take care of the country. We have left many things unsolved. We should do something," the voice echoed in his mind. Hans sat on his knees, and his mind flashed with Sarah’s memories. He wept for nearly an hour.
It was 7:10 a.m. sharp when he heard the sound of a school bus. He looked through his window to see a girl boarding the bus. The girl reminded him of Linnet (the ‘daughter’ in his dreams). To escape these memories, he decided to leave the house. He went straight to the gym.
His trainer was surprised to see him at the gym. "Hans, how are you, buddy? It’s been a long time. How’s life, and how’s Sarah? Is everything good? You’ve put on weight," he said, patting his stomach. Hans realized he didn’t know anything about his life.
“Jeff, I’ve been really busy with work, it’s been very frustrating, that’s why I skipped the gym. From now on, I’m going to be regular, and we’re going to have fun.”
“Sure, Hans. Come, let’s start”
Hans did some initial workouts and then started his intense training. His muscles began to sweat, which was natural, but it had been quite a long time since Hans had worked up a sweat. At 8:30, Hans left the gym and went home. His breakfast was already on the table, as he had asked his housemaid to prepare it before he left for the gym. She had been working at Hans’s house for a long time, but for the past few months, she hadn’t been coming after Sarah’s death. His house used to be dim, but after she cleaned, it brightened up like before.
He had finished his breakfast and decided to indulge in his hobby of listening to crime stories, reading crime novels, and watching crime movies. As he was deeply involved in one of the stories, he noticed Sarah at the door. She entered looking beautifully dressed, carrying groceries in her hand. Her vibrant red hair was falling into her face, and she was trying to push it back with her occupied hands. She would have been a perfect wife and a beautiful mom. This sight of her triggered memories of their time together for Hans.
“Haunting yet wonderful to see her like this. How beautiful she is. Man!!! I was so lucky,” he wiped the tears flooding his eyes, realizing it was not real.
He took his whiskey bottle, but he decided to end his habit of drinking. He threw all the bottles out of his house and his life.
Hans decided to visit Dr Miller. “I feel overwhelmed, Her memories ... I’m just empty inside without her. I like doing my routine, but I hate my life. I don’t need a life without her. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I feel empty inside,” Hans told him.
"Hans, remember one thing. We all leave our loved ones someday, and that day came too soon for Sarah. It’s not your fault, and there is a life waiting for you outside this. Just try going with the flow. If you get her illusion, don’t try to stop it. Let it be. Enjoy the moment, and as you move forward in your life, you’ll know the truth. Then you’ll move on. Until then, please love yourself. Don’t harm yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, don’t go to your house where you get her memories. Get back in shape, join your work again, and solve some cases. You are an amazing cop, and the world needs you, my dear boy. Go."
Back home, around 6:00 p.m. Hans took a shower and decided to start journaling,
"Like a lone cow grazing in an empty field, I was wandering aimlessly without a purpose. Then you came into my life like rain. I cherished your presence like the cool breeze, a little sunlight, and a touch of rainbow. You brought greenery into my life, which was missing. Suddenly, after this greenery, my rain went away, leaving me alone again in this barren field."
Han’s tears fell onto his diary, and suddenly Sarah’s hands wiped his tears. "Even though it’s not real, I love your presence, and I’m not letting you go. As Dr. Miller said, I’m just going with the flow," he said, touching Sarah’s hair. Her red hair was always as smooth as silk. Hans then slept at his table, thinking about Sarah.
Hans woke up, still at the table at 6:00 a.m. His diary was in front of him, but he noticed a small sketchbook on the sofa. When he opened the sketchbook, he saw that it was named "Linnet." Hans was shocked that his hallucinations had become so intense that he was now even seeing Linnet’s name. At that moment, his maid entered and took the sketchbook away.
"It belongs to my daughter. I brought her here yesterday, and she left it behind."
“No problem, Susan. How is she?” Hans asked.
“She went to school. Hans, your breakfast is ready on the table.”
“Okay, Susan. Thanks!”
Hans got freshened up and had his breakfast. He decided to go to the gym in the evening. He went straight to the police headquarters after breakfast. Everyone was surprised to see him back at the headquarters.
"Good morning, sir. Good morning, Hans," was all that echoed in the corridor.
“Hi, buddy!! Missed me??”
To be continued….
Thanks for reading
Bye
Reshma 😄😄!!
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