Blink Twice And I’ll Love You Again
You don’t know what you did
but you hurt me.
You hurt me in theory.
Cut up my golden youth
and taped me back scarred,
whenever I thought of you.
You chose your silver dollars,
hermit palace,
stuffed office toys
with their brand new Cadillacs
over me.
Not yet but I can see it in my mind,
our future history.
If all relationships come to an end,
I suppose this one will too,
happiness elusive as sunshine in the winter,
cold winds are all we’ll get.
Let’s kill this before we get attached.
Do you dream I’m getting distant,
slipping away,
avoiding, subverting,
sinking?
Because I am.
I am.
blinked twice
I hate that I hurt you today;
jagged knife cloaked by indifference,
slicing through you,
puncturing bone,
all of its own volition.
Your silence was acceptance but I know,
I know I hurt you.
You didn’t say a word but I saw it,
written all over your stoic features,
the glass shards of your shattered fantasy
pierced through me cruelly
as I watched those unflinching green eyes,
dim into scenery,
drained of their lustre.
Vacant presence,
you were swimming in pain;
bright smile on your face.
I don’t know what to do,
how to give you my heart.
it’s sealed away,
suffocating me
I can’t find it,
don’t know how to let you inside:
the frozen fortress that is my all.
Why do I do this?
Toy with you,
knowing I can’t love you
but forgetting just for a moment,
relishing in your attention.
Trick myself,
believing I’m besotted,
hurting all over again.
