Damage Extended

unwanted permanency

Photo by Masha Zubareva

The memories of you
scattered around my head
like the ashes of the cigarettes
we left unfinished,
blown by the wind of change
that wasn’t strong enough
to free my skull cell
of that mordant greyness.

The bitter aftertaste.
The vice was sweet.
Yet it was costly,
like any weakness:
fifty kilos of ache
plus the burden of the mind
unloading its hefty weight
through torrents of my eyes.

Years slipped away.
Hundred layers of skin shed.
Smoke free.
Your image smeared.
Your name drowned out.
But you still clot my veins
with the viscid doubt
that cramps my innards
when I need to trust.

Your gloomy legacy.

© Masha Zubareva 2023

Big thank you to the team of Scrittura for providing this great space.