Letter to an Ungrateful Selkie

sealed, with a bitter kiss

Joe Váradi
Published in
1 min readOct 9, 2021


in response to Denise Shelton’s The Selkie’s Sonnet, which besmirched and whitewashed our brief but genuine love affair

Now hold on just a minute, little Miss,
I feel I’m undeserving of your dis.
It’s true our story ended as you told,
but not quite how it started to unfold —

T’was a grinding Northern Isles day,
I drove my boat deep into Loch Harray.
In my work for Greenpeace I take pride,
was shocked to find a seal’s discarded hide.

And when I saw you frolicking nearby,
I nearly lost my shit, I will not lie.
I swore I’d drag you to the ‘thorities —
Who knew you’d turn out such a sexy tease …

“My selkie husband, Thor, he’s such a brute!”
You spread your legs and said: “Come, take your loot!”



Joe Váradi

Editor of No Crime in Rhymin' and Language Lab | ..."come for the sarcasm, stay for my soft side"