Memory
An Autobiographical Poem
The bite of cigarette smoke as soon as I
Step off the plane, sour flowers on my tongue when
Eating cabbage rolls, pink soap smelling musty
And safe, warm air flavoured with rain and weighted like
A cape, fireflies — pinpricks of light knitting patterns in
The haze of summer nights, pit of
Disappointment in my gut, cage of knotted
Branches at the foot of a hill, snow dribbling
Down my boots, copper-brown fur folding under my
Fingers, ribbons of graffiti flutter over walls,
Streams of gold etched in sky and firework booms
Echoing in my bones, the wet press
Of blood leaking into my hair, the sink of boot into
Snow that is blue on the edge of light, eyelids melting
Closed — diffusing into sleep, swelling of my chest when I
Inhale the wind, looped g’s tattooed on yellow paper,
Pale stars spilled over dark blue sky, hickory twist of
Hair, cold pinch when I step into black
Water, muffled wail of police siren through window-
Glass, the hospital sting of hand-sanitizer
(And/or fear) clogging my throat, damp grass
Under bare feet, stillness in my
Mouth when I write, foam and sand tango
In my palm, pain kneading my abdomen,
Silky sweet chocolate tracing the inside of my mouth,
Clattering of walnuts on our
Hardwood floor, hurricane of golden sparks swirling
Into black night, burnt lobster-skin pared off my shoulders,
Lips wide from laughing, crunch of browned
Leaves under my boot, slick cut of skate
Over ice, carpet of grey-orange smoke over sky — capping
The sea with bronze, green of trees fondling the
Lake beneath me, scratch of scream when I
Am hateful, clean salt of sea sanding my insides,
Tickle of a tear clinging to my jawline, nose
Clasped by a smell that’s sharp and earthy and
Coloured like clay, slap of crystal waves on the
Hull, soft dog tummy fluttering against my lap, rough
Kiss of rock on the skin of my thigh, whisper of
Cool scales under my hands, and the way my very
Bones settle into place as soon as I open the door and
Come home.
