PROSE
The Final Round
The only mistake Luca had made was opening her horizon to the world. Unfortunately, Judy learned.
Judy looked at the shabby building and a piece of paper in her hand back and forth, scowling. The poorly drawn map came to her three days ago with a one-sentence letter of a blunt, doubtful confession. It was hard to determine whether the building was the X-marked rectangle when the given pointers had been destroyed into ruins last night; quite a miracle, it still stood tall. She put the map back into her trouser pocket, deciding to test her luck in the hide-and-seek game she’d done countless times with the man probably waiting for her behind the door. A thing about Jean Luca was that he always hid in places as if he wanted to be discovered.
“I thought you wouldn’t come. I’m glad.” Luca was sitting leisurely on a stair, hair damp in sweats, lips cracking.
“Cut the crap.”
His boring smile grew wider, bringing her back to the days they spent cramped in a room with a single bed and small drawer. Luca was the beginning of her life, Judy bitterly acknowledged. They met in a slump years ago, having no one they could call family or a place they should return to. Living in dirt and streets, people more often called them dogs than kids. Ever since Luca captured her after she stole the boy’s bread — she was sure enough although Luca had rejected her accusation — he also had stolen somewhere, they had been clinging to each other like a pigeon orchid to spruce. They built a home in one another’s ribs they never had before. The only mistake Luca had made was opening her horizon to the world. Unfortunately, Judy learned.
“I’m leaving this city tomorrow at dawn.” He looked at her firmly, his voice clear of any turmoil conveyed through those eyes only Judy could read, could see through.
“Tomorrow? I have a meeting at 8.”
“It’s pointless meeting, as you said. What’s with the change of heart?”
“Somebody left his job, causing a riot, so I should go, or everyone will lose their goddamn minds.”
Luca chuckled, “Let them, Judy. Let the whole world go insane.”
The tender sound of her name almost illuminated the atrocity of his words, a voice so alluring first listeners would fail to hear malevolence tucked in the layers. But she had known Luca for twenty years and had heard his voice as he caressed her back, comforting her, casting out the images of her past from her memory. At those moments, Luca was most sincere. She stepped into the building, reducing the distance between them, only to find his face covered in an expression she hated. The playful and nonchalant glints in his eyes perished, his boring smile was a bluff to cover up the rotten carrion within, and the Luca she was familiar with was nowhere to be found in the man before her. Where did he go? She nearly asked him, a stranger in her friend’s skin. “You should’ve made me a puppet.”
Luca widened his eyes, but the amusement rising in his face was abruptly replaced again by his bluffing mask, helplessness lurking through the cracks. “Would it make you stop being a foolish optimist? I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “You’ve seen parents selling their children for a pack of cigarettes and still believe that the world is kind. I’ve tried, many times, to dispose of your naivete, but Judy, the more violence you witness, the bigger of a foolish optimist you become. Even if I were to mold you into an obedient puppet, you’d still choose the world over me.”
“Don’t talk like I’m the bad guy here. You’re the one who left, Luca. And if I irritate you, how lucky, you won’t have me around anymore!”
“I have never thought of you as a nuisance, not at all,” he said sharply, mirroring Judy’s irritation. “Judy, you’re — ” he began, looking at her straight in the eyes, but stopped midway, breathless. His gaze dropped to the gray, cement floor. He reached for her hand, caressed the skin, and then squeezed it in such gentleness, a gesture he always did to reassure her, to wordlessly tell her that she would be okay when she couldn’t believe herself or the world she had cherished. “You’re the only kindness the world has ever given to me,” he continued, whispering.
For a moment, the building fell silent. The sounds of heavy equipment lifting the ruins to find a breathing soul felt distant. She was trapped with Luca in a bubble, separated from everything and everyone living in another dimension. Judy opened her mouth and let out silence escaped her throat. She opened it again, but her voice was trapped somewhere under her tongue. All of the vocabulary in her language repertoire was suddenly unavailable to her, leaving her to communicate the turmoil boiling in her soul to Luca by removing his hand from hers.
What sweet words he uttered! Judy used to imagine how she would feel if Luca ever conveyed his affections verbally. Her friend said that actions spoke louder than words, but she believed words had power and could speak the loudest. Yet, his words shattered her at the same time. Oh, how she wished Luca was able to see the kindness he was surrounded with! Not only from her but from the people he had betrayed.
“In the end… I’m not enough to make your grudge disappear after all these years,” she said, gritting her teeth to prevent emotions from flowing out of her eyes’ sockets. She reached for a ring she wore as a necklace from under her shirt, showing it to Luca, “You gave it to me, remember? You said it belonged to a dead wife.”
“I lied. I bought it,” he exclaimed immediately.
“I figured.” She took the necklace off, then grabbed Luca’s hand, placing it on his palm, “You can’t be greedy, or you won’t get anything.”
Before she could withdraw her hand, Luca built another connection between them, squeezing her wrist tightly, refusing to listen to her about greed. “Judy,” he called her, desperate, terrified, panicking. “Y- you love me, right? I love you too, so — ”
“Luca,” she almost screamed, unable to look at his face because his voice alone drowned her in a bottomless ocean of sorrow. She wanted to throw her body against him, wrapping her arms around his back, whispering her love and devotion to his ear. She wanted to tell him that she’d follow him even to the fire, getting burned together into ashes to let him know how illogically she loved him. She wished she could forget the world and be another bastard walking on its surface without a drop of humanity. Yet, Luca was right. She, in any kind of circumstance, wouldn’t be able to choose him over the world. So, she looked at him, forcing a smile as she broke the connection between them, “Love sure has brought us together, but what else can it do?”
This time, Luca let his hands fall from her. Their hide-and-seek game had reached its end. Jean Luca would no longer be a presence in her life even when he was away. She was stepping out of the bubble, knowing if she stayed, she would only inflict wounds on Luca while watching her scars refuse to heal. With every step she took, she hoped to hear the other’s footsteps echoing in the opposite direction.
Reaching the door, she still heard nothing but her own steps.
Thank you so much for reading!
