Thank You Starfish

Looking back on the past six weeks of service here at Starfish International in The Gambia, I am in absolute and utter shock. For the first time in what seems like forever, I am at a loss for words. Anyone who knows me, including the Starfish mentors and volunteers would tell you this does not happen. It takes a special kind of moment and collection of experiences that render me unable to truly capture and encapsulate the heavy impact they have had on me. That, as I am sure you have gathered, has been exactly my experience at Starfish and in The Gambia over the past month and a half that I have been here.

I believe it is easy to say that an experience is life changing. As I was telling someone earlier, everything in life changes you and can be life changing, even if that thing is just a really good plate of chicken domoda (which in my opinion, is truly life changing). It is much more difficult to be able to say that something was personally impactful, so impactful, in fact, that it imprints on your heart, and revolutionarily changes your perspective and the way that you approach people, life, and yourself for the rest of your life. My experience serving at Starfish, serving in a way that truly aims to be selfless, learning what it means to be Gambian, and encountering and growing to love the Starfish students, the mentors, Gambians, the other volunteers, and lastly, my true self, have truly been personally and unbelievably impactful. Being at Starfish has enabled me to strip down all of the masks, take away all the voices of my everyday life that attempted to fight for my attention and tell me who I was supposed to be or what I was supposed to do, and truly hear the little voice in my heart that, as the Starfish anthem proclaims, is always there.

Each and every day that I was here, I would have a conversation, an interaction, a moment, an encounter, that drastically changed the way I came in viewing Africa, myself, service, and life overall. Aunty Yassin gave me a quotation the other day that summed up different things I had said to describe my experience here at Starfish, “I learned how not to hold back, how to fiercely chase life with passion, to get rid of my stereotypes and savor the complex about Africa, and how to be guided by my best self.” This quotation perfectly captures the significant transformation that I underwent over my time at Starfish. When I first came to Starfish, I was deeply ruled by fear, insecurity, and the worry that I was not enough for anyone. I allowed outside voices, including what I believed others’ opinions of me to be dictate my self-perception. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, and do the right thing that I was preventing myself from truly living and having the unique experience that was designed for me to have. This fear that I would not be enough, and that I needed to have fierce control over every moment was something that I really struggled with in the beginning of my time and here and throughout my experience.

However, at my time at Starfish, I have been extremely blessed to learn how to truly listen to my heart, which for me, meant trusting in God that everything was happening for an intentional reason, and that I was brought all the way to The Gambia for a specific reason because I have something unique to contribute to the students and people here. Truly being present, humbling myself to give fully of my heart and be open to what was planned and willed for me allowed me to truly become a way better version of myself that I was when I got here, which has been The Starfish students have opened my eyes to see what a true African and Starfish girl looks like. These students are strong, bold, courageous, courteous, kind, noble, so incredibly smart, confident, and beyond everything else, unbelievably loving. My stereotypes and fears that kept me from fully connecting with myself and others have been worn down and diminished. The girls have taught me the importance of letting my guard down, being my genuine self, and loving myself and others unconditionally. From being at Starfish, I have truly learned the meaning of unconditional love through firsthand experience, which is the greatest gift that anyone can ask for in this life.

Overall, I am filled with unbelievable love and gratitude for everyone at Starfish and everyone I have encountered here. Thank you for letting me fall apart so that I could find my true self and listen to my heart. Thank you for being there to help me find my true self and learn to love that person as you first loved me. Thank you for welcoming me in and showering me in unconditional love. This has an unbelievable experience that has changed my heart forever. I will never forget all of you and my time at Starfish becoming a true Starfish girl.