Unfinished
When the final week in India arrived and the countdown to my flight home began, I struggled to keep my excitement in check. It startled me how suddenly anxious I was to be home. I would imagine what it would be like to sleep in my own bed, to go through a day without being immersed in Kolkata’s 80–90% humidity sauna. I would always have access to a bathroom with toilet paper. I could use tap water to brush my teeth. I could satisfy my In-N-Out craving.
I would dig myself into a hole of reminiscence, where I allowed my previously suppressed longings for U.S. comforts to reawaken. And then, I would catch myself. What do I do with this feeling of restlessness, this hurry to go back home?
Why was I so ready to go back?
There was a tinge of guilt when I asked myself this question. I began to reflect on my time in Kolkata and on the connections I had formed while I was here. There was definitely a lot to miss. I would be leaving behind dear friends that we had spontaneously met on a train and amazing co-workers who took incredible care of me.
I would never forget watching those smoggy sunsets from our apartment rooftop…
Or the little adventures we would experience whenever we would wander along the city streets, always slightly lost,
Or the awe-inspiring sounds of the call to prayer and shankh echoing throughout our neighborhood,
Or the resilient and joyful faces of the children in the Sundarbans.
So, yes, I would remind myself, there were many treasured memories like these that made packing my bags bittersweet. Yet, I knew that I was also ready to leave. This eagerness to board my return flight left me unsettled. Much of this was due to the fact that I felt like I was leaving Kolkata not entirely fulfilled. I felt unfinished, like I didn’t quite get a chance to fully understand this place. There was still untapped potential that I had yet to discover: there were more people to meet, more places to see, more to learn.
Thus, it seems like there will have to be a sequel to this story. I have no idea where life will lead me following graduation, but my gut tells me that more travelling will be involved. I sincerely hope that the conclusion of this incredible six week experience is a beginning more than an ending.
