End of the Road
A short six weeks ago I was sitting in my living room at home, drumming my feet against the ground like I always do when I’m impatient. I didn’t know exactly what lied before me — what I would see, how I would feel, when I would be uncomfortable. At the time, I thought I had a pretty rough idea of what I would experience; looking back, I had no idea what a blur India would be.
I had originally thought that the Indian cuisine would be extremely hard on my body. When I thought of Indian food, the first words that came to mind were “spicy” and “different.” Now that isn’t to say that these words do not accurately describe the food here — they do. However, I’ve come to think of these in a much better light than I originally had. Spice is not always a bad thing (or else no one would eat it); it has become a part of my everyday lifestyle and I find myself wishing things were spicier when they aren’t completely scalding my mouth. Many of the meals we eat at our apartment are extremely different from what we would be eating back in the States. I found myself thinking, more often than not, “I’m not entirely sure what I’m eating… but I like it.” I will be excited for the wider variety of food options upon returning home, but I certainly enjoyed a vast majority of the food we had here.
Knowing I was working for ASED, I tried my best to read up on some current events regarding the Indian environment before I got here. However, I still found myself unprepared for the piles of trash lying in every vacant lot and the lack of infrastructure when it came to waste separation and disposal. I understand that Santa Clara has done a great job in promoting sustainability (compost, zero waste, etc.), almost to a point where it seems second nature, but I guess I never thought of what the alternative is — and what a harsh reality that is. Watching dogs eat trash out of gutters on every street corner is one of the many instances that have invigorated within me an urge to do what I can to protect the environment. ASED has definitely done its part in shaping that sense of preservation, and the times that we have listened to the students who are part of ASED’s Green Rhinos program have given me hope for a future of nature-oriented leaders.
The Global Fellows program stresses its primary goal of fostering “global citizens of competence, conscience, and compassion through an emphasis on service, academics, and leadership.” I have been very privileged to travel to many countries in my 20 years, but I would not necessarily say that simply visiting countries makes someone a global citizen. Being a global citizen involves engaging the community in which you are staying and understanding the differences that each culture has from one’s own. I have tried my best to interact with as many community members as I could and understand the similarities and differences in our respective lives, but at times I find myself emotionally overwhelmed with the clash of cultures; it seems that with growth and maturity come difficulty and frustration. Personal growth is almost impossible to measure within a certain timeframe, whereas instances of frustration tend to add up and stick with us much more clearly. I have been frustrated more times than I count in these past six weeks, and I can see why most people are content with staying in their own comfortable space. However, the times filled with laughter, wonder, and moments of revelation have far outweighed the times of frustration, and it makes me think that I have indeed grown.
We are at the end of the road. There are no more weeks to be spent here, no more experiences to be had. I can say at this point with complete certainty that applying to Global Fellows was the best thing I could have done with my summer (shoutout to Onno Ho, thanks buddy!), but it has left me emotionally worn out and in need of some weeks of relaxation and reflection. I will not forget this experience any time soon, and will hope to build off of it for the future. A conversation I had a few days ago with my boss’ husband seems like a fitting ending to my last blog while I’m here. He said “I am the only Kushal Mookherjee, you won’t find another person exactly like me anywhere in the world. I promise you that.” Kushal doesn’t live his life to fit society’s image; he lives to fit his own image. In my life, particularly in the time following graduation where there are so many possibilities, I don’t need advice from anyone on what I should do in order to succeed and be happy or wealthy. I know what I enjoy and what makes me happy, and I plan on figuring out how to do that for the rest of my life on my own terms.
