My Last Day
Anxiety, sadness, and unbridled joy.
These are the emotions and feelings that best characterized my last day of work at Sattva yesterday. From the moment I woke up at 7:45 AM I knew that the day would be difficult. Goodbyes are always difficult. And essentially, yesterday was an entire day of goodbyes. My anxiety was making itself known a bit more than normal due to the sheer anticipation of the emotional roller-coaster that would be my last day at Sattva. Everything I did yesterday reminded me of it being the “last time” I would be doing it. My last auto (rickshaw) to work. My last time ordering coffee and chikki toast (mix of peanuts and jaggery spread onto toast) from a very conveniently located café just two floors below Sattva’s office. Last time I say “morning” to the office’s security guard. Last time I walked up three flights of stairs to get to Sattva’s 2nd-floor office — India does not count the ground floor; this still messes with me. Last time I surveyed the office as I walked in to pick where I sit and work for the next 8–10 hours. Last time I had a “daily stand-up meeting” with my team to plan for the day. Last time I spend 2 hours perfecting just 3 PowerPoint slides. And most difficult of all, last time working with my four other team members.
For all these “last times” there was an inescapable feeling of sadness — but the good kind. The kind of sadness that forces you to realize that you’ve met people and experienced things which you will miss. I have grown to care for each one of my team members and will truly miss them all. They are the central reason why leaving Sattva is difficult.
Even after all these goodbyes and “last times” yesterday still managed to be the highlight of my time in India. After work, my entire team, Brooke, two GSBF fellows who are also working in India this summer — Gavin and Rachel — and my bosses boss went to play laser tag. After laser tag, all of us went to dinner. And after dinner, we went to Bangalore’s famous Corner House, an ice cream shop.
Aside — You know those moments when you are filled with a sense of unbridled joy and can’t help but think to yourself, “wow this is amazing.” Well for me, those kinds of moments/realizations usually don’t come frequently — but yesterday I had two of them. One at dinner and one at the Corner House. These types of moments always leave me at a loss for words. It’s hard to describe what or why makes certain moments so special that you even recognize their specialness as they are happening and maybe not everyone has these realizations — but I’m thankful I do. Because in the words of Andy, yes, the character from The Office, “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” Luckily for me, it seems I do have a way of knowing when I’m in the good old days because yesterday was definitely one of them.
Thank you, Sattva, for creating a work environment which is people-centered and challenges all to learn each day. Thank you, my team, for being the best group of people I have ever had the honor of working with and teaching me more about consulting and the art of PowerPoint making than I could have ever expected in just 6 weeks. Thank you, Brooke, for putting up with me for six weeks and being there when I just needed to talk some things out — not to mention all the great conversations we had over dinner. Thank you, to everyone who helped make my six weeks in Bangalore, India and Sattva memorable. You will all be missed.
