Don Juan 3000

My best friend Mel didn’t believe me when I said I was getting rid of my Don Juan 3000. “You spent like a year’s salary on that…

Overhearer Hell

Stuck on a train between two chatterboxes

The Latent Consciousness of Objects

Take this cow and remember me

The Part of Me That Was Actually Me

An introvert does karaoke at an office party

Why Cats Are Better Than Humans

My cat just sits there,
licks himself,
yawns.
He’s not thinking, damn,
what do I have to do today?
He…

No “I” on a First Date

Jordyn was so delicious that I swear I was this close to going full-on self-exposition on the first day we met. Just…

The Losers Shall Inherit the Earth

The world is filled with losers who never
amount to much.
We all try to avoid this fate.
To escape…

Same Thing

This woman does the same thing every day.
Same breakfast, same lunch.
Her whole routine doesn’t vary.
Must be the weight of choice in a…

The Seen and the Seer

Can they see the failure in my eyes?
Does self-loathing have a scent?
Misery surrounds me…
hangs on me…
festers within…

Receding Tentacles

“So, how was your date?”

“It was fine, but — ”