Life Is a Background Score and I Am Day Dreaming
What does life look like to you?
There is a large green field next to my house. I often see dogs, birds, cows and humans spending time there. While the first three species roam about looking for food, the last one tries to put in some work and nurture it, not for others but for his own sake. Either way, everything leads to food.
In monsoons, the same field becomes a lake, and humans, birds, cows, or dogs can’t do anything there but watch from a safe space. While humans have to work the least to find that safe space, it is the other three that have to work this time. Either way, everything leads to survival.
Life has its ways of playing games and changing stakes for everyone. Life is fun as long as you are winning.
On the other side of my house, there is a wide, empty road that remains quiet most of the summers and winters.
All the houses on either side make noise only when the housewives come to their kitchens fretting about the menu of the day. There is cackle and clatter from their utensils’ mouths. Once the conflict is resolved, they return to the quiet.
There is another time of the day when this quiet side of my hometown makes noise.
In the evening that quiet road makeshifts into a park as all the residents are out. They are either sweating in the humid air or putting up with the bone-chilling cold. Nothing can stop them from this informal chit-chat time with their neighbors.
The children cycle and scream at each other from a distance for no reason and their elders find that amusing. The young couples take their strollers out carrying their newborns and pretend like it’s the most important family time of the day because the young ones can soak in fresh air which is also a passage for future socialization.
Then, some elderly men and women accumulate on either side of a bridge that has many roles to play. It divides the town into two parts: it’s a roof to naked railway tracks, and most importantly it is the hang-out spot for those elderly people where their hearts are emptied, and invisible anecdotes stay afloat in the air.
There are no other people of my age in this crowd. Maybe everyone is away from home, working and trying to make a good living. I am also that person, except these days I am back home.
In any case, when the sun sets everyone returns to their families and once again everything quiets down.
The day however begins differently.
The moment my eyes open, my dog is sleeping next to me, her presence quiet and soft, except only a few seconds later we are out walking, she in excitement, me half asleep.
She relieves herself and I can find peace in her relief. My day always starts the same way, but the sky is never the same.
Yesterday it was cloudy, today it is drizzling, and tomorrow it will be sunny as predicted by the weather app.
As we keep walking, many people pass by minding their own business, but the sun always makes its presence felt. Sometimes it gently pats my skin, and other times it pierces my skin in different places almost like a punishment for sleeping extra and coming out late.
It is also the time of the year when everyone at work is going on their annual leaves. I want to go too, but I don’t have the energy to plan, and I am just spending extra time at home.
Growing up teaches you the difference between the time that will come again and that won’t.
Or maybe I have sorted my priorities and for now, I want to be lazy in my comfort zone instead of ticking things off my bucket list.
I don’t know if this is not a privilege then what is, choosing to do what matters.
But the realization of this privilege comes with time and experiences and once that happens you choose you will never stop choosing yourself, whether it is staying at home and being lazy or traveling the world, you will choose what makes your soul happy.
I like taking my time, whether I am drinking a glass of water or cutting vegetables for dinner. I hate to be rushed; I cannot be. I like to take pauses in between my daily routine to go missing in between the moments. I am slow.
My family and friends don’t understand this side of me. I am simply perceived as lazy or sometimes demotivated, but in reality, I am privileged to choose myself.
Life is the most flexible, chewy & soft thing, and everybody should be able to tear out their slice and enjoy it.
Love,
P.
