CONFESSION
Living out of Guilt and Longing
The silence humiliates me
“He divorced me”.
A pledge which marked women’s deterioration
Bearing the burden,
the aching heart led her to the home she knows
Seeking for acceptance
Pity face they gave
Leave a timeless stain on the family
“‘It’s a mistake!“’… no mercy
“‘Mistake shall not be repeated… child”
An unspoken agreement to be silent
The best way they know how to solve the problem
The silence humiliates me
My presence worth of guilt loading
The hurt?
It paralyzes me
The memory of a mute blank face he gave me,
upon my whisper “Have you stopped loving me?”
Forever it remains mute
It haunted me in my consciousness
I wish it would be stale and dissolve into the atmosphere.
Will I ever smile again, while bitterness is all I can comprehend
The future is hiding from me, will I survive another night
Move on?
I rehearse repeatedly in my head
I failed
Just like in my real life
I haven’t seen any ‘gig for fixing dignity’ in the marketplace
Booze can only replace ‘will be forever pain’ with a ‘one-night pleasure’
I write my own prescription
Surrender to the agony
Enjoy the sting of the emptiness
Heal the wounded heart by longing
Hope for a ‘better us’ will happen… eventually
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
