Ritalin
I would never wish to bestow you such a life.
This manic bird in my ribcage, the discordance
Of my blood vessels tensing
And releasing at every off-beat.
I stand and spin at the same time,
Stuck in a trance:
Where audio loops until the tape expires,
Each repeat increasing in speed,
The tension in my gut thrumming to a climax a realisation
an explosion a release maybe it will finally stop maybe —
It’s still here, of course.
I am, too.
No matter what escapes I plan, what life I avoid,
The knot follows like a shadow,
Stitched to the place where my heart should be.
I am decomposing, small insects and foreign energies
Invading my body, seizing control.
As they resurrect me,
I’ll take the backseat.
Author’s Note: As the title suggests, this poem is about how it feels to be on Ritalin sometimes. Great for study, bad for anxiety. Thank you again for all the love ❤
