timeblind

Photo by Sonny Sixteen on Pexels

I’ve had to let go of time
on this strange journey,
unstuck, unravelled,
red-eyed and disheveled
whisked through airport lines,
taxi cabs, bullet trains, and metro cars
overground, underground,
and back up in the sky,
disoriented, sick, I think I’m going blind,
timeblind, no universal clock can save me
because the body’s lost the beat
I’m ahead
no, I’m behind
but I’ve got magic on my mind
a few hundred bucks and dust
line the pockets of my traveller’s jeans
traveller — who, me?
see all there is to see,
even trying (sincere attempts I promise)
to speak the language,
bonjour, merci…
where’s the toilet?
I’ve been holding it in for way too long
I’ve been holding on for way too long
to sanity, to attempts at normalcy,
to my shield against conformity,
to this disguise of mediocrity
I can see it in the eyes of those around me,
the fatigue and listlessness of living
and working
all your days
for this sprint
this escapade
it’s this dented VHS tape
squeaking-squealing, playing on fast-forward,
screeching, yet never even reaching the good part,
and the film roll is about to break,
my screen is scrambled, my sleep is mangled,
the heaps of ambition turned inside out,
the seeds of desire, the search for a proper route,
the wings of a nocturnal angel,
the spread of an honest fire, in a depth-craving heart,
like-minded souls to admire, fuck it,
let’s rewind and find my way back to the beat,
back to ordered consciousness…