It starts with you
Some people come; others leave but only real ones stick to your side. I guess that is a fact that everybody is aware of. But sometimes, you think you found the real ones until one day you wake up and they are nowhere to be. You try to reach them but it’s like the earth has swallowed them. You’re lost, you feel betrayed and you just don’t know how to deal with it. They weren’t anybody, they were practically everything and now that they left, you’ve been left with nothing. The scars are exposed, the wounds hurt as they never hurt before and no painkiller can numb the pain. You’re shaking, every fiber, every muscle in you is shaking. You weren’t prepared for this, it all happened suddenly.
You were living a dream and out of nowhere, a slap wakes you up. Your eyes stung from the harsh light that flooded the room and slowly it hit you! Where are they? A voice whispers to you “ They are long gone “. Gone … the word resonates in your head; you want to shake it out but without success. Deep within you refuse to believe, you think it is just your imagination but days passed by and still no trace of them. They left you, they walked out of your life as if they’ve never been a part of it. As the night is slowly dwindling your shadow, you feel how miserable you are and at some point, you start hating yourself for allowing it to be this addicted to them. You look up in the mirror and the emotionless look in your reflection’s broken eyes bore into your skull. You gave them all you had and they tossed it in the trash. Trash … that’s what they made of you. You allow yourself to fall to the ground, you bury your head in your hands and you start asking yourself “ Why?”. Everything was perfect, why did it all go wrong? Was it because of you? You hate to admit it but since the day they left, your life has lost a special flavor.
You know you should move on and get over it but you just can’t take a step forward as your muscles went numb. You reach your hand seeking help, but as you were going to take it back thinking that they were the only ones to lift you, you feel a hand taking in firmly yours. You look up and find other persons. You move forward and realize, that those who were standing in front of you trying to reach you, are those who were always there for you, those who supported you when you were blinded by other’s love.
At some point in our life, we find ourselves too absorbed with the existence of undeserving people, that we rarely acknowledge the existence of those who are worth our attention. Our brain is wired in a way in which we crave things that are hard to get, and therefore taking for granted everything that was given freely. One reason that explains why we end up being blind to people who care about us. It is quite intriguing how we waste time claiming something that has been refused to us, rather than using that time to nurture something genuine and pure. What is even more intriguing is why we even spend time looking for love from outsiders when the search should start from one’s self. If we give it enough thought, we would realize that the love we all need to seek first is the one that we should give to ourselves. Unfortunately, we take our self for granted. If we love ourselves enough, we would not be struggling to claim other people’s attention. We become content with ourselves, and ourselves only. However, self-love is a long journey, one that is not linear and would require a lot of effort. Efforts to learn how to dismiss our insecurities, and nurture every inch of our body and mind with care and appreciation. It is funny how we are incapable to point other’s flaws but so quick to list ours. We are so hard on ourselves, and self-love starts from shifting that negative self-talk to a positive one.
At the end of this journey, whenever you find yourself falling to the ground crying about someone, and waiting for help, you will easily wipe away those tears and realize that the most important person still has your back, which is you. Do not get me wrong, I am in no way devaluing genuine love that can stem from other relationships, but you can never love someone enough and truthfully if you do not love yourself first.
There is a saying: If I ask you to list the things you love; how long would it take you to list yourself. It is about time for us to become the main character in our lives.
