Stress, Decision-Making, and Learning From Hanumanji

I recently read a fantastic HBR article on the impact of stress on the decision-making process. The author gives an excellent example of a leader who has just started delegating important work to their team. The leader has really high standards and has not spent enough time coaching individual members on crucial tasks. Hence, he is nervous about the outcome of the exercise, and her most primal instinct is to take the whole task back and complete it himself. In most cases, such decisions go on to define the journey of a leader. If you take back control, it’s an admission of complete failure of the team, and the morale plummets. If you let things remain status quo, you risk the deliverable, your own, and the team’s reputation, and also an increase in blood pressure. Why do things reach such an impasse, and how do you deal with them?

Let me take you back to my own experience. I always wanted to be a technical and people manager. It was not a decision based on the social prestige. It had that ambition because it would allow me to present and execute dozens of ideas that always seemed to swerve around in my head. I had read dozens of books on leadership and could easily succeed. When I did become a manager, it was an absolute baptism by fire. I realized that everyone in the team wants to pull in different directions. Every person was an intersection of their personal lives and professional ambitions and needed to be treated slightly differently. They wanted feedback but also wanted to feel safe. Of course, I knew none of that initially. Hence, when my first employee opinion survey came, it was a bloodbath. 30% of the team were reasonably happy with me, and the remaining were indifferent or outright disliked me. It should have been a very stressful time, but somehow, during high stress, my mind automatically finds clarity. If I had to fail as a manager, I should at least do it on my terms. So, I made all the decisions that were too radical initially. I treated the team as if they were an extension of my family. I was transparent about the challenges we encounter every day and our current position within the organization. I also made a couple of tough people decisions and executed them without regret or guilt. The result was an absolute jump in team happiness and overall satisfaction. The following year’s score was through the roof.

However, it’s not always this level of clarity that descends upon you. Sometimes, you feel almost paralyzed by the million “What If” scenarios that come to your mind. One scenario after another plays out in your head and your emotions completely enslave you. I remember this feeling when a larger company acquired our organization, and we spent months in turmoil trying to guess our fate. Every single day was spent speculating about the future. Five years later, I can tell you it was not worth it. I could have spent that time learning new skills and focusing on the controllables. It’s easier said than done, and it’s only by going through such experiences that you prepare for the future.

The Million What-If Scenarios for Bhagwan Hanuman

Bhagwan Hanuman was an all-powerful avatar of Lord Rudra. The gods had blessed him with all kinds of superpowers, and he was the greatest devotee of Sri Ram. Hanumanji had flown over the ocean to locate Ma Sita in the lair of Ravana and take back the news of her sighting to Sri Ram. However, it was late at night when he landed in Lanka, and he had been searching for Ma Sita for hours unsuccessfully.

Vinay Varanasi, the remarkable storyteller of our itihasa and Puranas, talks about Hanumanji feeling even more dejected because he had a glimpse of hope that had gotten crushed. He sees a glowing woman sleeping in Ravana’s room. She is glowing with the radiance of a thousand moons. He then stops and chides himself because he realizes Ma Sita would never sleep in such a comfortable place near her kidnapper. She has only Sri Ram in her heart and soul, and this could not be the place where she would rest easily.

Bhagwan Hanuman left with enormous confidence after promising his friends that he would fly like the arrow of Rama and find the truth. At this point, his confidence was at rock bottom. The whole night has passed, and he has still not found Ma Sita. Then, Bhagwan Hanuman’s mind starts racing. He imagines what would happen if he went back without any news. Sri Ram would be grief-stricken, and Lakshman would not be able to see his grief, and they may kill themselves. Sugreev — the chief of the Vanaras- would kill himself due to shock, and when this news reaches Ayodhya, all of Sri Ram’s near and dear ones would follow suit, and Hanuman would be the one responsible for this catastrophe. In the Ramayana, Maharishi Valmiki describes these chapters rapidly to showcase the pace of the mind. Hanumanji feels he should die rather than return empty-handed to cause a catastrophe. All these thoughts have engulfed him in a fraction of a second.

However, Hanumanji’s faith comes to his rescue, and he realizes life is the most sacred of gifts, and he cannot just squander it away due to a temporary failure. He realizes his death will not solve the problem. It’s only through living that he can work on finding Ma Sita. He decides to continue his search and, of course, ends up finding her. Let’s celebrate the bhakti of Hanuman by immersing ourselves in his introduction when he meets Ma Sita. When she asks him to introduce himself, he tells her:

राम दूत मैं मातु जानकी। सत्य शपथ करुणानिधान की

Dear mother, I am the messenger of Sri Ram. I swear on his name — he who embodies all compassion because I have no other identity.

My guru, Om Swami, has potent advice on dealing with stress. He says, “Simply ask yourself what you are supposed to do now and do that.” It breaks the mental paralysis and helps you focus on the next action, which is exactly what Hanumanji chooses to do and finds his way to success.