Member-only story
What The Heck Is A Whye Waite?
How not to name a child.
Whye Waite is my pseudonym. He has several personalities. In this story, he has a bit of a southern U.S. accent.
Folks ask me all the time how I got my cockamamie name. Ya’ see, Whye Waite isn’t your typical run-of-the-mill, middle-of-the-road, common-as-dirt-all-American name. It’s actually a bit looney if ya’ ask me.
I stopped askin’ my Ma after about the 6th grade cuz each time; I got a different story. Musta been the Old Fashions she drank to soothe her cough; She always seemed to have a cough.
Well, here goes.
The story goes that when I was born, I was supposed to be a girl, the most precious little baby girl this side of the Mason-Dixon line, the prettiest little thing anyone would ever see.
But one look at me during birth, in my, shriveled up, pointy-headed, all-male self, and all hell broke loose in the hospital.
Ma started yellin’ at the nurses and doctors that someone must have switched babies cuz she was certain she was havin’ a girl. Not just any girl, mind you, the prettiest little girl anyone’s ever seen! She cursed at anyone who would listen, even the poor woman having twins in the next bed, bearing down harder than trying to push-start a car up a hill.
