DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

DON’T

JUST DON’T.

If you absolutely have to, let me give you a little clue as to what my life looked like just a few short years ago:

Cute, huh?

JUGgle those with a full-time job.

Don’t even get me started on childbirth.

Oh, it’s too late… but I’ll break it to you gently:

The third birth, where the obstetrician shoves his entire arm up inside of me, like what I imagine they do in those hard-core films, that birth was the easiest. It’s true, the first twin had opened the birth canal.

That specialist barely said hello before doing his business. I still remember his name. Tom. I remember being irked about that.

Watch this space for:

1. An article on breastfeeding two kids at the same time. It helps if you are so emaciated from having all the fat sucked out of you, that your er, appendages, hang down on either side of your supine body at night. Then you can have a baby in the crook of each arm while you snooze.
2. The REAL story of childbirth. You bitches have no idea. NO FUCKING IDEA.

If you liked this, you may be ready for a change of tone to deadly serious:

Romney and Raspberries