New Lives in a Dangerous Time
The story of a hospital birth, a home birth and two strong mothers
The first wave has officially passed.
If I have learned any lessons from the pandemic, they have come from two badass women, my best friend Denise, 24, and my sister Mariah, 26, who both experienced the miracle of life during what felt like the end times. Their strength has helped me to push through the struggles of this year. If they can bring children into this dangerous world, there is no reason I cannot successfully complete my third year of university classes during a pandemic.
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The New Year had barely begun, and winter raged on through eastern-Ontario. A bout of nausea led to a Clearblue digital test, which confirmed what Denise had already planned, she was pregnant.
Meanwhile in New Brunswick, the warm sunshine of February hinted at springtime’s arrival. A routine check-up led to a blood test, which led to the discovery of a new unplanned pregnancy for Mariah.
Both women are matriarchs, providers, and delegators, who embraced this challenge head-on.
When Mariah found out she was pregnant, she was already three months along. A few months later, when the lockdowns took place, panic began to set in.
“I didn’t know how I was going to bring another child into this messed up world. I was terrified — still am — and didn’t know how COVID would affect my labor,” said Mariah.
Although unplanned, the fourth addition to the Tomah/Kennedy household was already developing, and it was my sister’s job to prepare for all possible outcomes.
Meanwhile in Welland, Denise was rushing to call me and inform me of the news of her second. I can still remember the excited squeals.
“I was worried that people would label my baby a COVID Baby. I’ve seen some people get shamed for getting pregnant during the pandemic, but in this case, it happened before everything went to shit,” said Denise. “How can you bring a child into the world during a pandemic?”
The first time Denise was pregnant, with her now two-year old daughter Emily, she was able to go for bi-weekly prenatal appointments, and her fiancé, Braden Mallon, was able to accompany her to each one. This time around things were different.
“This time around it was super depressing. We had to call the midwives and inform them that we were pregnant, get a blood test from the family doctor, and send it over to the midwives to book the first ultrasound,” says Denise.
None of the ultrasounds were able to book her in, and instead she had to go to the hospital. She had to go alone, without her daughter or fiancé, and had to call beforehand to complete the COVID screenings. Being a paramedic, Denise is constantly on the front lines when it comes to dealing with sick and injured people, so on top of the added danger for her pregnancy, she also had to struggle through these COVID screenings as she tried to explain her profession. The nurses would not even allow her to facetime Braden while she was in her appointments.
Mariah was struggling with the same limitations. “They didn’t let Travis come to any of my prenatal appointments. I would have to call the hospital from the car when I arrived and do COVID screenings over the phone before they would let me go in, and of course masks were mandatory.”
On top of having to face her appointments alone, Mariah also worked a full-time job throughout her pregnancy. Not only risking exposure for herself, but also for the baby. It became a controversial topic; whether pregnant women should isolate themselves for their own safety or continue to do what needs to be done to live. For some women though, this was not a choice.
At one point, Denise had reached out to her midwives to discuss their opinion on whether she should stay on the road or switch to modified duties and avoid the potential exposure to COVID. “I don’t like feeling like a nuisance,” says Denise, “I don’t want to sign up for accommodations when I can avoid it.”
Unfortunately, she ended up going off the road four months earlier than expected, describing the paramedic experience as “a game of COVID dodgeball.”
Because Mariah works off the Trans-Canada Highway, the potential of COVID exposure was higher than the average job. “I was scared all the time, especially going to town,” Mariah says, “There were a couple scares at work, with people from Maine and Quebec coming in all the time.”
When it came to a gender reveal, Denise’s original plans were disrupted by the COVID restrictions in Ontario. She settled on a drive-in style reveal, to comply with the social distancing laws, and was surprised to learn that she would be having a baby boy, due October 18, 2020.
Although Mariah opted-out of hosting a gender reveal, she did go for a gender reveal ultrasound, where she discovered that she would be having a baby girl, due September 12, 2020.
With the gender reveals out of the way, the only thing left was to come up with a birthing plan. For Mariah, it was a routine hospital birth. But Denise had second thoughts.
“For one, obviously my first birth experience wasn’t ideal in hospital. But also, the designated birth hospital in our region is also the designated COVID treatment hospital,” Denise says. “I was kind of wishy-washy about a home birth before, but the option to avoid exposure and not being alone inevitably won me over in the end.
“I read home birth books, watched videos of home births, researched articles, talked to friends who had home births, and made sure to stock up on all things I may need in labor.”
Mariah describes the rest of her experience being pregnant during COVID as a positive one, that closely resembled her previous experiences. It is clear when you look at the two examples of being pregnant during COVID, that the Atlantic Bubble became a sanctuary for those who were more susceptible to the virus.
Denise, on the other hand, did encounter a COVID scare in early September. “At first, I was like, It’s probably just the flu,” she describes, “But then I realized how close I am to delivering, and that if it is COVID, we are all going to get it, and if the baby is positive for COVID it will mess up my [at home] labor.”
Instead of taking any chances, her fiancé Braden went for testing, and thankfully it came back negative.
When Mariah finally went into labor, it was a quick midnight drive to the Waterville hospital, where the COVID exposure risk was low and screenings were light. “Trav told the nurse I was in labor, she put me in a wheelchair, and we went straight in,” Mariah says. “We were limited to 2 visits per day and mom wasn’t even allowed to bring me in any takeout or an iced-cap.”
Because of how medicalized the birthing process has become; most people would run from the idea of a home birth.
“Ultimately, your birth goes how it goes, and you can’t do much to change it,” Denise says, “but being at home and knowing everything is progressing as it should without someone trying to augment the process… I felt safer at home and more in control than I would’ve in the hospital.”
Mariah spent a quick 24-hours in hospital and gave birth to Rori Rose Brookie Tomah — without epidural — on September 9, 2020, at 11 A.M.
Over a month later, Denise was having her patience tested as she passed a week overdue. When she finally did go into labor, she spent 7 hours breathing through the pain — at home — and give birth to Oliver Hayden Mallon on October 27, 2020, at 3:59 A.M.
“I was already home,” Denise explains, “I got to sleep in my own bed, shower in my own shower, it was so nice not to have to do a stressful travel to the hospital and potentially be stressed out further, not to mention the fact that Emily’s routine remained uninterrupted.”
In fact, that angel-child slept through the entire thing.
“I am definitely pro-home-birth now. If you get me going, I will not shut up about how empowering it was, especially having one of the midwives videotape it. Seeing myself do something like that — it’s definitely the coolest video I own.”
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These women are my heroes of the pandemic. When I think about making excuses for myself, I think of what they accomplished. If they can rise to the challenge of creating a human being in these times, there is no excuse why I cannot complete this school year with all the challenges COVID brings.
My name is Dylan Kennedy. I am a third-year Journalism student at St. Thomas University. When I am not spoiling my dog Sage or meticulously folding clothes at the mall, where I work, I like to dabble in photography, philosophy, and even tattooing — which I would not recommend unless properly trained. I tend to go against the grain and strive for originality, so when my best friend and sister got pregnant around the same time, and experienced pregnancies that share some scary parallels, I knew I had to share their stories. I hope their story helps to give some reassurance to anyone who is struggling through this pandemic. This story was written for the class, The Power of Narrative.
