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My Deeply Honest 2024 Year-End Review and Reflection
Not a financial year-end, but a soul-level audit — and a potent free template to help you do the same
Just past the first quarter of 2025, I’m repicking a commitment I’d made last year — to my (future) self and audience…
A yearly ritual of vulnerability, authenticity, and public documentation.
Enter: YearCompass — a free booklet for deep year-end reflection. Last year, I printed it, filled it out by hand, and then digitized it.
This year, I’m skipping the print — the digital version proved far more comprehensive last time (and yes, it saves trees, too)…
And I’m documenting it here, blog-style — for six deeper reasons:
- For posterity — with color and context. A time capsule I can look back on, grey and grizzled, muttering those infamous “When I was your age…” stories — with receipts.
- To model raw honesty and humanness — for new readers and longtime ones alike. In a world drowning in curated perfection, this will be a breath of flawed, all-too-human truth.
- To remind myself how far I’ve come — which is far too easy to forget. This growing documentation of self-evolution might even birth a memoir someday.
- To show you what reflection actually looks like. Real-time. Messy. Meaningful. If you feel stuck while doing your own, drop a comment — I’ll gladly help you through it.
- To highlight the unseen hands — Serendipity and her sacred curveballs. Our lives are shaped far more by what (and who) happens to us than by our meticulously crafted goals. It’s humbling. And freeing.
- To give you a copyable template. Just copy-paste this article, replace my reflections with yours, and tag me if you’d like — or keep it unlisted if it’s for your eyes only. Either way, it’s yours.
YearCompass is powerful — I felt that last year, and I know I’ll feel it again now. As you scroll through this piece, you’ll witness me go through it in real time…
But you’ll experience its magic only by doing your own 2024 YearCompass.
P.S. This digitized version will be edited, structured, and smoothed for your clarity and benefit. But I promise — the polish won’t strip away the soul. The vulnerability will remain untouched.
Table Of Contents
· Going Through My Calendar Month-By-Month
∘∘∘ January
∘∘∘ February
∘∘∘ March
∘∘∘ April
∘∘∘ May
∘∘∘ June
∘∘∘ July
∘∘∘ August
∘∘∘ September
∘∘∘ October
∘∘∘ November
∘∘∘ December
∘∘∘ New Year’s Eve 2025
· This Is What My Last Year Was About
∘∘∘ Personal Life, Family
∘∘∘ Career, Studies
∘∘∘ Friends, Community
∘∘∘ Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity
∘∘∘ Physical Health, Fitness
∘∘∘ Mental Health, Self-Knowledge
∘∘∘ Habits that Define(d) Me
∘∘∘ Bettering the World
· Six Sentences About My Past Year
∘∘∘ The Wisest Decision I Made…
∘∘∘ The Biggest Lesson I Learned…
∘∘∘ The Biggest Risk I Took…
∘∘∘ The Biggest Surprise of The Year…
∘∘∘ The Most Important Thing I Did for Others…
∘∘∘ The Biggest Thing I Completed…
· Six Questions About My Past Year
∘∘∘ What Am I Most Proud Of?
∘∘∘ Who Are the Three People Who Influenced Me the Most?
∘∘∘ Who Are the Three People I Influenced the Most?
∘∘∘ What Was I Not Able to Accomplish?
∘∘∘ What Is the Best Thing I’ve Discovered About Myself?
∘∘∘ What Am I Most Grateful For?
· The Best Moments
· Three of My Biggest Accomplishments
∘∘∘ My Three Greatest Accomplishments from Last Year Here.
∘∘∘ What Did I Do to Achieve These?
∘∘∘ Who Helped Me Achieve These Successes? How?
· Three of My Biggest Challenges
∘∘∘ My Three Biggest Challenges from Last Year Here
∘∘∘ Who or What Helped Me Overcome These Challenges?
∘∘∘ What Have I Learned About Myself Through These Challenges?
· Forgiveness
· Letting Go
· The Past Year in Three Words
· The Book of My Past Year
· Goodbye to My Last Year
· All This Is Only One-Half of Year Compass…
Going Through My Calendar Month-By-Month
YearCompass: Go through last year’s calendar week by week. If you see an important event, family gathering, friendly get-together, or significant project, write it down here.
Yours Truly: Don’t rely solely on memory. Delve into your emails, social media posts, messages, and journal entries to uncover moments you might have overlooked.
Pro Tip: To efficiently search your emails within specific date ranges, use the following query format (Adjust the dates to fit each month):
***For Gmail —
after:YYYY/MM/DD before:YYYY/MM/DD
***For Outlook —received:YYYY/MM/DD..YYYY/MM/DD
January
- I decided to go all-in on Medium — after futile attempts to “diversify” across 𝕏 and LinkedIn.
- [Jan 15] Woke up to my first-ever coaching sale — six one-on-one self-maximization calls booked by a single client.
- [Jan 17–28] Got my mom into her first Vipassana course (huge). I served alongside her. Met a fellow Server — a decade older — who’d later become my farm neighbor and land partner.
February
- [Feb 1] My friend gets a productivity epiphany — and we polish it into what we (still) call “The System” (explained here).
- Still struggling to quit porn for good, I hit upon a genius iPhone hack to near-permanently block it.
- [Feb 16] Just 2 days after Valentine’s, a love-reflection piece I wrote serendipitously re-connected me with my then-ex-girlfriend.
March
- [Mar 9] Fusing Power vs. Force with my own peak productivity experiences — I birthed a daily system to balance chaos with structure, spontaneity with order.
- Began seeing God’s Hand more in daily life — not just the larger aspects as before.
- Flirted with the idea of pitching to Business Insider — did my research, got input from , even watched a pitch breakdown… but never hit send.
April
- [Apr 3] Poured 40+ hours into a fool-proof porn-blocking system — fully convinced it’d be a lifesaver for parents and kids alike. Rejected for Boost. Knew it could blow up on Reddit, but fear held me back.
- [Apr 14, 21, 23] Back-to-back Boost rejections, including a deep awareness piece. Caving in, I tried clickbait. That didn’t work either.
- NoFap relapses continued — find loophole → act on it → patch it → repeat. One even involved an iPhone micro-browser in Gmail. “Where there is a will, there is a way.”
May
- [May 10] Working the Twelve Steps, I’m gifted with a powerful pre-bed journaling habit — that I pass on as a paywall-free gift article.
- [May 24] My first-ever podcast appearance, with my friend , went live on YouTube.
- Somewhere in between, I stumbled upon a lifetime keystone: free-form journaling. Raw, real, and grounding — it changed everything.
June
- [June 6] Abstaining from all sexual contact, I experienced a deeper, purer love for my LDR girlfriend than ever before. Those two dates? I was glowing with faith, affection, and humility.
- [June 11] Wanting to marry spirituality with high impact and strong clickbait, I struck a fulfilling viral hit.
- Non-Boost hits, combined with accepted Boost nominations, made June my highest-earning month of 2024.
July
- [July 3–14] Spent my 24th birthday in silent meditation and service at Dhamma Paphulla. I began to truly grasp the core of Vipassana.
- [July 20] Post-retreat magic: landed my first dream gig — $500, minimal back-and-forth, full creative freedom. Went live on ichorpress on Aug 22. was kind enough to ship me a free copy, too!
- [July 28] Broke up with the “love of my life” in a trembling outburst of rage. Relapsed days later, breaking a 52-day NoFap streak.
August
- [Aug 2-4] A powerful 3-day Twelve-Step workshop cracked open my addictive patterns, emotional numbness, and inner wiring. Some of the most stunning self-reveals I’ve ever had.
- [Aug 7] Swallowed my ego and reached out to my ex-LOML — apology, uncertainty, her words, the unblocking… it all hit deep.
- [Aug 17] Serendipitously, we finished the registration for our first two farmland plots on the same day.
September
- [Sep 4–15] Took my grandmom to her first Vipassana. Realized how both Vipassana and the 12 Steps lead to the same core: Surrender. Met a family of Seekers — and , in person, there itself.
- Found my Higher Power in Goenka ji — a shift that deeply supported my recovery. Also hit on a powerful “Who is suffering?” Anattā insight.
- [Sep 25] Yet another soul-crafted piece (with ’s inputs this time) was rejected for Boost. Record-low earnings — yet I felt a deep peace settle in. Close friends noticed it too.
October
- Poured 50+ hours into a Vipassana article — deeper and more nuanced than most of my past Boosted pieces. It got rejected. That was the final straw. I then knew — writing for Boost was over.
- [Oct 26] Felt called to Tirupati by my home deity, Lord Vishnu, and received a miraculous Darshan within two hours (normally a days-long wait).
- Shaved my head for the first time as an adult — in Surrender. It proved to be a blessing — a smooth segue into a buzz cut after years of hairstyle indecision and insecurity.
November
- [Nov 8] Poured 12+ hours into an inspiring fatherlessness piece. Rejected. The Omen was clear — I had to stop writing for the Boost. Still, hope — treacherous as ever — re-arose with a social piece. Rejected again.
- [Nov 24] My first trek — deep into the heart of lakhs of acres of reserve forest. The lambs and village kids cracked open my newly tender heart.
- [Nov 28] Wrote possibly the most vulnerable, truthful letter of my life — to my ex, hoping to win her back.
December
- [Dec 4] In a moment of deep despair, I poured my soul out to my ex — hoping to be seen, heard, and maybe even rescued.
- [Dec 11–22] My Dec Vipassana plan with my brother got canceled — a hidden gift. Planned a “Monk mode” sprint to build out Manximize. But mom stayed over — and it became a time of surrender and self-love.
- With no products launched and the New Year nearing, I leaned into my Visionary role — offering 2025 Vision Calls, inspired by .
New Year’s Eve 2025
- [Jan 1, 2025] That night, after a difficult day, I relapsed again. But what followed was different: a complete surrender. I let go of identity, ambition, and control — online and offline — to my Higher Power.
- The highest uncertainty I’d ever faced — and yet, the deepest peace I’d ever known…
In 2025 Q1 so far, this detached surrender has only deepened — and life’s rejuvenating me with new opportunities, ideas, and connections.
There has been suffering — but also a hopeful sprouting seed of self-love.
This Is What My Last Year Was About
YearCompass — We live our lives through distinct but interconnected aspects.
Take a look at the areas below and ask yourself what the significant events in each of them were. Write down your answers.Yours Truly — Feel free to add/remove/change categories as fit. Also, no need to “fill” every section. Observe the year’s events’ patterns and see what arises.
Pro Tip — Copy-paste your previous “Month-by-Month” section’s entries into GPT4o and ask it to note down 3 observations for each of the areas below. You’ll be surprised :)
Personal Life, Family
- Learned to let go of control in relationships — especially with my ex and younger brother.
- Served alongside my mom during her first Vipassana, then tagged along with my grandma in hers — closing a family circle of Dhammic practice.
- Deep emotional unraveling, heartbreaks, and reconciliation attempts brought me closer to the Truth of who I was.
Career, Studies
- Obsessed over Boost, shifting from writing to editing — which spiked IFAIH’s growth but stifled my own.
- Faced rejection after rejection, until a final breaking point helped me let go of writing for the Boost — and take a step back from Medium itself.
- Rebranded and realigned Manximize’s future — towards holistic six-aspect self-integration. Immense self-learning behind the scenes.
P.S. I recently sunsetted Manximize fully — as I felt misalignment with the “self-maximization” side of things in my current evolution in life.
Friends, Community
- Founded my own little spiritual Sangha — a tight-knit WhatsApp group of diverse, devoted Seekers of Truth, depth, and self-knowledge.
- Reconnected with old friends and made unlikely new ones — be it a gang of village urchins, an aged farmer, or a half-mastiff puppy.
- Found a deep sense of safety and belonging in 12-Step circles — after a lifetime of feeling like an outsider. “We were home,” as they say.
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity
- Relearned the art of walking without purpose — night strolls became a meditative ritual, not a productivity hack.
- Stopped beating myself up for late mornings, lapses, or unproductive days — replacing guilt with gentleness.
- Let music, leisure, and small joys back into my life — not as distractions, but as nourishment.
Physical Health, Fitness
- Evolved my training philosophy — from intensity to intention, from ego-lifting to conscious exercise. Legs finally caught up.
- Hiked deep into a lush reserve forest on my first-ever trek — spotting elephant dung and bear paw prints.
- Stepped away from kickboxing. That layer of “Max-SMV” self-evolution felt done. Considering swimming and other multi-person sports.
Mental Health, Self-Knowledge
- Let go of the need to date — and began to find peace (and wholeness) in singlehood, thanks in part to the mirror of my ex.
- Healed long-held body dysmorphia through Muay Thai and inner work.
- Broke through major patterns via Vipassana — even as I faced negative relapses, my self-awareness only sharpened.
Habits that Define(d) Me
- Meditation (First, Sahaj. Now, Vipassana. TWIM seems next)
- Fitness (Gym + Kickboxing. Swimming and Triathloning seem next)
- Writing (Li/𝕏 Posts, Articles, Notes, Journaling, WhatsApp DMs to Seeker friends)
Bettering the World
- Made my free digital self-maximization products (now no longer available) better than most paid ones.
- Wrote 100K words on Medium and 𝕏 to inspire, educate, and enlighten.
- Gifted life-changing books to close friends, insights to readers, and advice to many. Fed homeless children, aged women, and stray puppies.
Six Sentences About My Past Year
Pro Tip — For all these single-choice questions, don’t (over)think. Whatever intuitively (and with a psychic charge) comes up is likely the right answer.
The Wisest Decision I Made…
Continually surrendering — deeper and deeper — to God, Truth, the Universe…
Whose power made wiser moves than I ever could have dreamed. All I had to do was let go — sometimes in awe, sometimes through clenched fists.
The Biggest Lesson I Learned…
In the words of Michael Singer in The Surrender Experiment,
“Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe itself — because it was.”
The Biggest Risk I Took…
Letting my heart speak unfiltered in a private letter to my ex.
No safety net, no performance — unlike the calculated vulnerability in my life thus far.
The Biggest Surprise of The Year…
Breaking up — suddenly and possibly irreparably this time around — with “the love of my life.”
P.S. As of Apr 2025, we’ve largely healed the emotional rift between us — and are on friendly terms. Neither of us is in a space to date (each other) now.
The Most Important Thing I Did for Others…
Accompanied my mother to Tirumala — despite being areligious and averse to long Darshan queues. It was out of intuitive protectiveness, not belief.
I thought I was taking her there. Turns out that it was the Lord’s call for me.
The Biggest Thing I Completed…
Serving at three 10-day Vipassana courses — 450+ hours of meditation that taught me life-altering truths.
It also gifted me with acquaintances who are now soul allies, mentors, and even land partners!
Six Questions About My Past Year
Pro Tip — The intuitive psychic-charge point applies here as well. Asking GPT4o (based on all the earlier copy-pasted context) can also yield surprising answers.
What Am I Most Proud Of?
- Introducing my grandma to Vipassana (or Vipassana to my grandma?).
- Persistently pouring heart and soul for hundreds of hours into my writing — despite demoralizing Boost rejections.
- Staying single for over 8 months now — not out of fear or avoidance, but from a deep willingness to Date To Marry.
Who Are the Three People Who Influenced Me the Most?
- — for modeling Faith, Authenticity, and Vision.
- My land partner — a pilot and visionary I met through Vipassana, whose gentle thinking and grounded wisdom continue to shape me.
- My ex-girlfriend — through her absence as much as her presence, she cracked me open to truth, grief, and grace.
Who Are the Three People I Influenced the Most?
- My younger brother, through our late-night deep “Truth Talks”.
- My first self-manximization coaching client — over months of working together.
- My ex-girlfriend — by my absence as much as my presence.
What Was I Not Able to Accomplish?
- 100K Medium followers — a milestone that never truly mattered… but still lingered.
- Mastering NoFap and staying off porn — the strongest dragon to slay.
- Building out Manximize fully (now sunsetted for good).
What Is the Best Thing I’ve Discovered About Myself?
- That beneath all the seeking, my Being longs more for Love than for Truth.
- That if forced to choose, I’d take Unconditional Love/Joy over Unconditional Peace — despite the latter ranking higher on David Hawkins’ Map Of Consciousness.
- That I’m meant to walk the Path of Heart — even though my mind bows to the god of logic and clarity.
P.S. After deep Truth Talks with Matt xHeartwork and Leigh St John, I’m even more certain about the Path Of Heart.
What Am I Most Grateful For?
The miraculous, almost automatic way my outer life held itself together — giving me space to fall apart, heal, and re-form within…
God’s Loving Hand never felt more evident — continually whispering, “Tend to the internal. I’ll take care of the external.”
The Best Moments
YearCompass: Describe the greatest and most memorable, joyful moments from last year. Draw them on this sheet. How did you feel? Who was there with you? What were you doing? What kind of smells, sounds, or tastes do you remember?
Yours Truly: Don’t just recall, RELIVE those memories. Then, jot them down.
- [Jan] Met a fellow Vipassana server who felt like a long-lost elder brother — grounded, perceptive, inspiring. One day, he said something I’ll never forget:
“You observe the world and cut yourself with your sharp mind. Instead, dissect the world and observe yourself.”
- [Feb] Just after Valentine’s, I found my ex’s private notes in my heartbreak article. As our texts deepened — tender, playful, and a little shy — I found myself falling for her all over again. The sharp wit. The boundless positivity. My Heart sang to her’s.
- [~Mar-Apr] Honed “The System” with — a productivity game-changer rooted in the spiritual core of Power vs. Force. For the first time, I felt truly called to commit to something collective, meaningful, and potentially world-changing.
- [June] Hugging and kissing my then-LDR girlfriend on the forehead, I felt a depth and purity of love that humbled me into devotion. The feeling? Closest visual I’ve found is the 10:00 mark in Boston 168 — Oblivion and Vapor:
P.S. This was after months of sexual abstinence on our part — and 12-Step-style Surrender work on mine.
- [Aug] At a 3-day Twelve Step workshop after my breakup, a new close friend held space for my rawest truths. For the first time, I felt fully seen. Of all the blind spots he reflected, one line lifted a lifetime of guilt around my struggle to emotionally empathize:
“Bro, if you’d stayed empathetic, you probably wouldn’t have survived — not with everything you had to go through.”
- [Sep] Had a mind-blowing conversation with an advanced Satipatthana meditator (at a Vipassana course I was Serving at). The sheer weight of the Vipassana path — its seriousness, its stakes — hit me like a tidal wave.
- [Mid-Sep] On a call with , post my Vipassana, I slipped so deep into Surrender and Loving Presence that both of us felt it — like I’d touched Liberation, even if just for a few moments. No fireworks. Just stillness. And Truth.
- [Oct] Terror struck as I bowed to offer my hair at Tirupati — vanity resisting Surrender. Just hours earlier, I’d been basking in the attention. But after the shave, I looked in the mirror and felt overwhelming relief. I still thank Lord Venkateshwara — not just for taking my hair, but the attachment with it.
- [Nov] While trekking through forest reserves, I felt my first real stirrings of Heart. Ruffling the village urchins’ hair, patting puppies, and hugging lambs. I even questioned my resistance to family, children, and simple domestic love.
Three of My Biggest Accomplishments
Pro Tip — Feed all the previous sections into GPT4o as context (via prompt) and ask it to answer the below questions. You’ll be surprised by the accuracy :)
My Three Greatest Accomplishments from Last Year Here.
- Made my stubborn mom and timid grandma experience Vipassana — it proved to be a trauma release for one and a life-changing balm for the other.
- Letting Go(d), again and again — switching from Sit to Serve, surrendering ambition, even laying down my very identity.
- Facing deeper shadows without numbing — from lust relapses and Boost rejections to the resurfacing of long-buried trauma.
What Did I Do to Achieve These?
- Honored my Inner Voice — even when it conflicted with logic, emotion, or others’ opinions.
- Placed Personal Truth above Gurus, institutions, and even cherished teachings.
- Chose Hope over Cynicism — even when darkness felt more believable. Not always, but consistently enough to shift the arc.
Who Helped Me Achieve These Successes? How?
- My Higher Power — whether a Guardian Angel, God’s Hand, the Cosmos, the Dhamma, or nature itself — I’ve been unmistakably guided, beyond any rational doubt.
- — mirrored my inner evolution through his outer work, and in a pivotal one-on-one call, helped me break through key inner blocks.
- My Twelve-Step Group — especially my sponsor and DSR partner. They held space and mirrored truth when I couldn’t see it myself. The 12-Steps as a whole taught me Surrender — unlike anything else so far.
Three of My Biggest Challenges
Pro Tip — Again, feed your YearCompass so far into GPT4o as context (via prompt) and ask it to answer the below. You’ll be surprised by the accuracy :)
My Three Biggest Challenges from Last Year Here
- Facing lust relapses and the ongoing struggle with porn — it’s remained the only recurring battle of my life so far.
- Letting go of outcome-based writing/creation — especially after pouring heart and hours into pieces that got repeatedly rejected by Boost.
- Navigating heartbreak and emotional unraveling — from the sudden breakup to the resurfacing of buried trauma through 12-Step work.
Who or What Helped Me Overcome These Challenges?
- The Twelve Steps and Vipassana — together gave me the tools to stay present, surrender control, and observe pain with equanimity. One taught structured action; the other, stillness and inner seeing.
- My Higher Power — through quiet nudges, unexpected redirections, and the right people showing up at the right time.
- Steady family, finances, friendships, and physical health — that gave me the time, space, and willingness to go inwards without falling apart.
What Have I Learned About Myself Through These Challenges?
- I can sit with pain without needing to escape it — not always perfectly, but more honestly than ever before.
- I value Truth, but I need (to) Love — and I must learn to let both coexist without shame or discrimination.
- I’m more resilient than I thought — not because I fought harder but because I surrendered deeper.
Forgiveness
YearCompass: Did anything happen during the past year that still needs to be forgiven? Deeds or words that made you feel bad? Or are you angry with yourself? Write it down here. Do yourself good by forgiving.
P.S. If you don’t feel ready to forgive yet, jot it down anyway. It can work wonders.
- I forgive my ex-“LOML” for hiding parts of her dating past — out of fear of losing me — though it felt like betrayal when it surfaced later.
- I forgive her for not fully grasping the depth of the pain her reveal caused me — and I forgive myself for not acknowledging, nor honoring, the depth of that wound within me.
- I forgive myself for the angry words I hurled at her — and for punishing myself afterward with guilt, without appreciating the agony I had endured to even reach that breaking point.
- I forgive her mother for being unaware of the deeper psycho-spiritual scars that casual encounters leave behind — and for siding with her daughter during that rupture, when I had silently yearned for her reproach instead.
- I forgive her father for raging at me and blaming me for his daughter’s mental spirals — without knowing the hidden histories, the lies, or the invisible wars I fought alone.
- I forgive my mother for being emotionally unstable and unavailable through much of my childhood. She carried her own unspoken wounds, her own Darkness. And still, she went above and beyond in everything she could — a fact I will always hold sacred.
- I forgive her for still not fully seeing her patterns, still clinging to victimhood, still projecting blame. Her healing is her own pilgrimage to make. I can only guide, hold space, and be there for her.
- I forgive my younger brother for being passive, for seeming inconsiderate. He too carries blind spots of his own — just as I carry mine toward him, and our bond.
- I forgive my grandmother for not standing up for my mom when my grandfather spoiled and pampered her growing up.
- I forgive her for not being able to face her own shortcomings as a parent — after a lifetime of being silenced and suppressed. Despite it all, she’s remained a wellspring of love, positivity, and empathy. She has her own road to walk.
- I forgive society for crippling and caging the Feminine for millennia — for keeping women tame, dependent, controlled. But the resurgence has begun:
- I forgive the feminist movement — even its blind, toxic, self-cannibalizing mutations — for in its stumbling, it still signals the return of the real Feminine underneath.
- I cannot yet forgive my father for abandoning us. And yes — a part of me hopes he suffers the bitterness his Karma demands — but only enough to awaken him, to make him own his actions, understand them, grow from them — so he doesn’t damn himself to repeat them.
- I forgive myself for not being able to forgive him yet. That day will come. It is a journey I must finish walking.
- I forgive myself for treading dangerous Energetic lines with a friend’s girlfriend — for tip-toeing into Dark waters — yet pulling back, in honesty, the exact moment I became aware anew.
- I forgive her, too, for her subconscious participation. She’s carried deep traumas, her awareness is still raw, still forming. In love and respect for her, I re-set the boundaries — for us both — again and again.
- I forgive my friend — for trusting us both so naively, almost to a point of recklessness. For not sensing the need to set firmer lines. But his trust is a deep gift I treasure and honor.
- I forgive my friend for not yet walking the deeper path we both sense is calling us. He has his own karmic knots to untangle, his own resistances to melt. His timing is his own.
- I forgive myself for expecting and needing him to come along — and for fearing to step forward alone. I know that if I move, God will send the companions, the resources, and the strength exactly when they are needed.
- I forgive myself for brutalizing myself — for beating myself black and blue against the impossible mountains I demand myself to climb.
- And finally — I forgive anyone who has wronged me in 2024 and the first quarter of 2025 — knowingly, unknowingly, or even just in the mirror of my own perception. May they Realize and grow, without having to be painfully reminded again and again by the machinations of Karma.
Letting Go
YearCompass: Is there anything else you need to say? Is there anything you have to let go of before you can start your next year? Draw or write, then think about it and let it all go.
- I let go of the need for certainty — for structure, for a predictable, definable path.
- I let go of the fear of commitment — to a woman, to a worldly purpose, to this very moment’s Truth.
- I let go of my attachment to my online presence and persona — and its grip on the rhythms of my actual, offline life.
- I let go of the fear of becoming irrelevant — as I slowly sunset my presence here, in service of something Truer offline.
- I let go of the desire to hedge my bets — to keep “something” going online, just in case the deeper mission fails.
- I let go of the illusion that I can hedge and still win — that I can have my cake, keep the mask, and still become who I was meant to.
- I let go of the guilt — of feeling responsible for my mother’s emotional storms, and of the pain I cause myself trying to hold them for her.
- I let go of needing Woman to anchor me — and offer that longing to the Divine Feminine herself. May She fill me instead.
- I let go of spiritual bypassing — of using “openness to Truth” as an excuse to avoid the commitments that clarity demands.
- I let go of the brittle scaffolding of identity, of preconceived notions, of conditional self-worth. I Surrender instead to the Divine, to the Truth unfolding moment to moment.
- I let go of the urge to define my path, to “know” where this is all heading. Let Destiny chart it. Let Grace steer it.
The Past Year in Three Words
Struggle, Surrender, and Serenity.
The Book of My Past Year
YearCompass: A book or a movie was made about your past year. What title would you give it?
It would be “Sundered Into Surrender.”
Goodbye to My Last Year
YearCompass: If there is anything else left that you would like to write down, or there is anybody you would like to say goodbye to, do it now.
- Goodbye to Manximize — and to my attachment to self-maximization itself.
P.S. Right at a moment of weakness and doubt, I’m tempted anew back into the older evolution. The closer the leap, the deeper the doubt — and the more tempting the test.
- Goodbye to the era of brutalizing myself into self-forced and illusory “greatness” — forcing growth through discipline sharpened into self-cruelty.
- Goodbye to the invisible chains of codependency with my mother — and the burden of carrying her unhealed storms.
- Goodbye to hedging my bets, diluting my life-force across scattered, half-hearted pursuits.
- Goodbye to the illusion of a “certain” future — neatly mapped, rigidly secured. Everything now is surrendered to the living pulse of Truth, moment by moment.
- Goodbye to seeking a ready-made path outside myself. I am walking barefoot into my own unknown.
- Goodbye to my identity as a “digital writer,” or any fixed vision of what I must become.
- Goodbye to identity itself — seeing now, more clearly than ever, that the Siddharthic Path demands no name, no mask, no monument. Only continually unfolding Experiencing and Knowing.
All This Is Only One-Half of Year Compass…
The other half is for visualizing and planning 2025 — which, frankly, is best kept between you…
And God.
Talking about your visions and goals only bleeds their power.
Only you and God need to know what’s coming — let your present and your past do the talking.
As for me — having embraced Surrender as my way of life, I have no fixed plans.
Even when I do plan — as I did last year — life shatters and reshapes those projections into something wilder, truer, deeper than I could have imagined. Always has.
For now — online at least — the Truth Talks Podcast remains my only intrinsically fulfilling project. Offline, there’s a larger goal looming quietly on the horizon. Everything else lies in Surrender.
🎧 Watch/Listen now: YouTube | Spotify
If you do choose to plan, give it a few days after completing your reflections.
Let your Being breathe into the insights. Let them settle. Let them speak.
In the meantime — consider “digitizing” your reflections like I just did.
Copy-paste this article. Swap in your own memories, your own moments. Sprinkle in a few photos. Bathe in the nostalgia. Then…
- If you feel called to share publicly, tag me when you post it.
- Or, if your soul prefers its privacy — unlist it, and keep it between you and the Divine.
Either way, I wish you a blessed rest of 2025. May it bring you and your loved ones health, clarity, joy, and just enough uncertainty to keep you growing.
