A resolution worth giving a f*ck about
Another year gone. Where did it all go?
We’re on the cusp of 2018. The time of year to reflect on the 12 months that have come and gone. What did we achieve? What are we proud of? What didn’t we get to? What won’t we repeat again?
We also look forward to think about the year ahead. A chance to wipe the slate clean or build on what we did in the year gone by. We make lists, promise ourselves resolutions that will dramatically improve our lives. And at the same time we wonder if, deep down, we will even be capable (or committed enough) to make any of it actually happen.
Aside from the birth of my son — probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me — my thoughts are not about the achievements of the past 12 months or mantras about getting fit next year. Instead, it’s about something a bit bigger.
Let’s begin with something dramatic.
Life is absurd. I know, you didn’t expect that one did you. But we are reflecting, so indulge me.
Animals get treated as objects without feelings, drowning in small tanks in a Chinese restaurant as overweight businessmen pile in to cheers each other with a beer and gorge on too much food.
Meanwhile, we stand on trains reading self help books, trying to become better versions of ourselves. We listen to music that’s been created to keep us distracted from a seemingly mundane life. We are more occupied by what the person standing next to us thinks of us or how many likes we got on Instagram, rather than taking a moment to consider the stuff that really matters.
Stay with me.
I observed the above as I sat in a famous Chinese restaurant in Sydney’s Chinatown and then caught the train home. But as I watched and took in these seemingly ‘normal’ occurrences, it gave me perspective.
So let me ask you, have you ever really stopped to think what the f*ck you’re doing?
Like the fact you travel each day to sit in an office, sit at a desk, stare at a monitor and try to make money (or help someone else) until the clock strikes 5.00pm. And that you use the money you earn to buy stuff you don’t really need, eat and drink more than you should.
Societal norms make someone like me sound a bit out there. You’re more likely to judge me for what I’m saying rather than immediately agree. “Here we go, another dickhead who thinks he’s a philosopher”. I’m not smart enough to be a philosopher. I just think that at times if you take a step back, it’s easy to ask what, exactly, we are doing.
And so that leads me back to the time of year when we make promises to ourselves that we never seem to be able to keep. But more so, promises that mean nothing, do nothing, or make any sort of impact on a world that so desperately needs our help. Instead we focus on the me, the I, the now.
I’m not going to chew your ear off with some save the world crusade but there’s a point that needs to be made.
For me, it was always very much about me when it came to this time of year. For instance, every New Year’s Eve I would be obsessed with getting plans in place for a spectacular night celebrating. It would normally involve ensuring I had everything needed for the perfect evening: good friends, great scenery, the right drinks and in my younger years, the prospect of being able to celebrate intimately with someone new.
It’s funny how it takes a few years and a few grey hairs to realize how superficial all of that was. I aimed to selfishly satisfy myself. When I think about it, I also always made the same sort of promises each year about what I would do next — lose weight, progress my career and so on.
But, we are human after all which means I’m not alone. Many of us are in the process of, or soon will be, thinking about how many times we will go to the gym come January, which days of the week we will commit to eating salad or how we’re going to get that next promotion.
What does it all really mean?
So… back to my own reflection on 2017. I realize that as I gave this post a title, I was in fact emulating someone who’s made a profound impact on me this year — Mark Manson. His book, The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck helped me realize what is worth worrying about, and what isn’t.
As I look forward on the year to come, I want to make sure that whatever I do, it’s something that’s worth giving a f*ck about. But most importantly, that it does something that actually matters in the bigger scheme of things. As small as that something might be. Dent in the universe and all.
Because while it’s easy for me to choose a selfish resolution — where I stand to look better, feel better, earn more money and so on — it seems much more worthwhile to choose something that makes a difference in this world. That helps someone else, lessens my impact, protects it for the future generations and all that jazz.
And the thing is, it can be small. Like my experiment with not eating meat for the 12 months to August this year. Since then I went off the rails but now I’m calling myself a flexitarian — something my best mate told me was where you eat far less meat and think about your impact on the world. I like that.
It could be that you decide to donate $25 a month to someone like Animals Australia to help animals in need. Or that you walk to work to reduce your carbon footprint.
I’m not saying don’t go to the gym, drink less or eat healthier but maybe add in something that actually matters. Think a bit bigger. Because as humans we have a lot to answer for.
And if it’s all too much pressure feeling like you have to do something, start by thinking about what you could do. Because if we are to make a difference in this world it starts by thinking the right way.
Maybe then that thought will translate into some form of action. Whether it be deciding to stop using plastic bags when you next do your grocery shopping or to give away some of your clothes (the ones you you swear you’ll wear one day) to the Salvation Army.
While we’re lucky enough to feel like it a lot of the time, we don’t live in a bubble. It’s a big wide world out there where bad shit goes down. Where people kill each other over who should own what and animals are slaughtered as part of some bullshit ‘religious’ festival.
So before you toast that glass of champagne at midnight to ring in the new year, still feeling stuffed from all the food you gorged yourself on at Christmas, think about the reality outside your little bubble and appreciate what you have. It doesn’t cost anything. It might even make you realize what really matters (and encourage you to do something about it).
And if you’re going to make a resolution, make it one worth giving a f*ck about.
