Why inspiration is doing us more harm than good
Having now worked for a number of years in and around startups, I’ve been thinking more and more than we seem to have an ever growing problem on our hands.
Every time I open up LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter — you name it, no matter where you look there are a shitload of inspirational posts designed to help us feel good, to strive for better, to be more than who we are today.
More than who we are today?
Despite the good intentions behind the deluge of inspirational messages we see every day, I can’t help but feel like they’re actually doing us more harm than good.
Why? Perhaps it’s the fact that for the most part, they’re always about what you don’t have; they play on our inadequacies, tell us we haven’t yet done or tried something, that we’re not moving fast enough, that we haven’t achieved enough, that we’re not as smart as the other amazing founder who just raised $5m dollars.
The quotes from successful CEOs and Founders are often coupled with endless stories about the same amazing startups that are continuing to be amazing; of the millions of dollars of venture capital money being snapped up, of people that are doing so well.
The parallels with mainstream advertising are hard to ignore. Except here you’re not being coerced to go and buy something. Instead, it’s more like you’re being reminded about the fact that who you are today is not enough if you want to be someone tomorrow.
To be great means we need to be more than ourselves. It’s not about being happy with who we are but who we aspire to be, who we could be if we put in that effort.
Because there’s nothing more boring than being happy with something that’s not exciting; where we’re not the CEO, the successful founder, the celebrity, the fashion icon.
The juxtaposition here is that this very level of ‘unhappiness’ has spurred on many a successful person to change their surroundings and become the superstar they always wanted to be. However those people are often an exception to the rule, not the rule itself. And more often than not the drive of these individuals has been born from a very real need.
Today we’re working longer, time is flying by faster than ever before. The world seems to have increased the speed at which it rotates on its axis. And we’re told over and over again that to succeed means working 90+ hour weeks and sacrificing everything else to achieve our goals.
But at what cost? How many life experiences were missed in the meantime? How many birthdays, random nights out with friends, taking in new cities on a gap year or suffering though a hangover after you and your wife had one too many glasses of wine to celebrate your anniversary. Might seem mundane but this shit is the stuff that makes us who we are.
For those that follow what I write, I’ve often referred to the work of Gary Vaynerchuck. Something he talks about is not giving a f**k about what other people think; to focus on yourself and what you want to do.
That is so hard though when that message in itself is effectively telling us we can be better than what we are today. Same message, different flavouring.
An example of Gary Vaynerchuck’s messaging:
What I’m getting at here is that I fundamentally believe there are so many of us that are toiling away, working our asses off, stressing that we’re not doing enough. And all this stuff we’re doing is being fuelled by unrealistic ideals and bullshit motivational quotes about how great life can be… if we just tried a little harder.
It’s being hammered into us every time we’re served up an ad from a business coaching website or when we see a clip of Tony Robbins with words of advice on how we can change the way we live.
But what if we don’t need to change our life? What if the one we have now is actually quite good? Sure we may not make the front page of the paper for going out for breakfast with our loved one but is that a bad thing?
I don’t think so. After all, life is about living. It’s about experience. It’s about being in the moment. It’s not about wishing for something we don’t have, working our butts off to achieve something we think we should have.
While I was writing this article I started reading a book by Mark Manson called The Subtle Art About Not Giving a F**k. I’ve only read a few chapters now but it’s awesome. It talks about this in further detail so I would suggest giving it a read if you’re interested in finding out more.
Back to inspiration. Are all the messages telling us we should be / do / try / achieve more a part of why we feel more miserable than we should? Is it a factor that causes many in the startup world to have had panic attacks?
Is the pressure that startups (and anyone in the business world for that matter) feel made more extreme because we’re constantly reminded of other great, amazing fantastic people that have been there and done something we haven’t done yet?
And let’s be fair, this is not a criticism levelled at those people that have done well. In fact, I think it’s awesome when startups do well because it is so bloody hard to do. I hate the whole tall poppy syndrome, something Australia is so good at, but again I digress.
I suppose the key point of all of this is quite simple: be happy with what you have and enjoy the journey you’re on. Easier said than done right?
Don’t try and be something you’re not because some inspirational video told you to do it. Or someone else made you feel like you should do it. Just do it for you. And be content with the ordinary; in today’s world it’s funny how extraordinary that really is.
Shit, did I just get all inspirational?
