Protecting Your Energy Through Selective Networking
Maintaining Boundaries for Better Connections
Recently, I came across an insightful article by Deborah Grayson Riegel and Loren Margolis titled “How to Gracefully Decline a Networking Request.” As someone who values professional connections and treasures my time and energy, the advice in this article resonated deeply with me. It got me thinking about my own experiences with networking and how I handle requests that come my way.
In my early career days, I felt immense pressure to engage with every networking opportunity that came my way. Whether it was a former classmate asking for a referral or a LinkedIn connection wanting to hop on a quick call, I always tried accommodating. However, I soon realized that saying “yes” to everyone was overwhelming and counterproductive. The quality of my network was suffering because I wasn’t being selective.
Few Red Flags
The article highlighted several red flags when deciding whether to accept or decline a networking request. I found these particularly useful.
- Self-Serving Requests: It’s frustrating when someone reaches out only to see what you can do for them without offering any mutual benefit. I’ve learned to recognize and respectfully decline these requests.
- Questionable Reputation: If a requester has a dubious background or trusted colleagues have had negative experiences with them, it’s a clear signal to steer clear.
- Premature Requests: Networking is about building relationships, not instant transactions. When someone asks for help without prior interaction or trust-building, it’s often best to say no.
- Overwhelming Network Management: Managing too many connections can dilute the value of each relationship. Being selective helps me maintain a meaningful network.
- Burnout from Excessive Networking: There were times when I felt drained from too much networking. Taking a break and focusing on quality interactions rather than quantity has been a game-changer for my well-being.
- Misaligned Expertise: Sometimes, I receive requests for advice on topics outside my expertise. Directing these individuals to someone better suited to help them is more productive.
A few Practical Ways to Say “NO.”
The authors provided practical scenarios for declining requests gracefully, which I’ve started to implement. Here’s how I handle them.
- When I might be interested later: If I see potential value in connecting in the future but can’t commit now, I politely decline but offer resources or suggest a future time to connect. For instance, I might say, “I’m unable to commit the time right now to a conversation but would still like to help. Here are a few articles on the topic you’re interested in, and I’m attending the annual meeting of [professional organization] in May. Perhaps we can meet up then.”
- When identifying a red flag: I respond firmly yet respectfully if I recognize any of the red flags mentioned earlier. Something like, “Thank you for reaching out to connect. I maintain a network of people around me that I know well. At this point, I’m not looking to expand my network, but I appreciate your inquiry.”
The Importance of Protecting My Time and Energy
Reading this article reinforced the importance of being intentional with my networking efforts. It’s about who I can add to my network and nurturing and maintaining meaningful relationships. Protecting my time and energy ensures I can focus on deepening these valuable connections rather than spreading myself too thin.
Final Thoughts
Incorporating these strategies has significantly impacted how I manage networking requests. Saying “no” when necessary has not only preserved my energy but also strengthened the quality of my professional relationships. Networking is indeed a powerful tool for career growth, but it’s essential to approach it with discernment and respect for one’s boundaries. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend reading the full article by Deborah Grayson Riegel and Loren Margolis for more detailed advice.
