Kicking the Bucket
I just finished listening to an audiobook entitled The Story of a Soul, the autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. As I was going through the second chapter, one paragraph struck me.
The mother of St. Thérèse died, and her father moved the family to Lisieux. This paragraph describes St. Thérèse attending the holy mass with her father:
I really did listen attentively, but I must own I looked at Papa more than at the preacher, for I read many things in his face. Sometimes his eyes were filled with tears which he strove in vain to keep back; and as he listened to the eternal truths he seemed no longer of this earth, his soul was absorbed in the thought of another world. Alas (emphasis mine)! Many long and sorrowful years had to pass before Heaven was to be opened to him, and Our Lord with His Own Divine Hand was to wipe away the bitter tears of His faithful servant.
Did you notice that? She used the word “alas” to signify her disappointment that God had not taken her father sooner. It was as if she was saying that it would have been better for him if the Lord had taken him earlier.
In Philippians 1:21, St. Paul said: “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.”
St. Paul said, “To die is gain”! He further said, “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far”.
What is going on? It seems that these two great saints are saying that death is actually a desirable process.
The modern world will have none of that!
I am a physician, and I try my best to help my patients live long and healthy lives.
In my personal life, each time a friend gets diagnosed with a severe illness, I comfort them, sincerely pray for their physical healing, and encourage them to “hang in there” and to “keep on fighting.”
Death is a bad thing, and we need to push it back as much as we can. It is not an acceptable outcome.
Or is it?
We often look at death with worldly eyes. If we look at it from a supernatural perspective, we will remember that this earth is not our home.
Heaven is.
Our brief life on earth is merely a preparation for eternity in heaven. Life is like a school where we try to learn the ways of heaven.
Earth is an ugly shack compared to the glorious mansions of heaven.
I know these lessons intellectually—heck, I’m actually writing about them! But I am very far from taking them to heart. I am such a novice in the faith. Whenever I feel that something might be seriously wrong with my health, I panic. I also try to make this “shack” as comfortable as possible. I often spend more time prettying it up than preparing for my time in the heavenly mansions.
There are two big reasons why I fear kicking the bucket. In my immaturity, it seems I don’t trust that God will take adequate care of my family if He ever calls me first. Of course, this lack of trust is stupid and unfounded. God is infinitely powerful and loving, and He can care for my family better than I can. St. Thérèse lost both parents at a young age, but she was well cared for and ended up being one of our greatest saints.
The second reason is that I feel that I’m not a good student in this school called life. Instead of learning as much as I can about God and heaven, I waste a lot of time daydreaming. Instead of studying for my courses in Faith 101, Hope 201, and Love 102, I go for the extracurricular subjects. As such, I feel unprepared for graduation.
Let me tell you about the Our Lady of the Conception of the Capuchins in Rome, Italy.
From the outside, it looks like any ordinary church. But beneath the church is something extraordinary — the Capuchin Crypt.
This crypt contains the skeletal remains of 3700 Capuchin friars. Instead of natural stone or wood, the crypt is lined with the bones of these dead friars.
This display is not meant to be macabre but to remind us of what we have been talking about—that our life on earth is brief. And you know what? This is a good thing!
We should want to spend as little time as possible in this dirty “shack.” It pales in comparison to the unimaginably beautiful mansions of heaven.
