Stuff vs. Relationships
Kate, my daughter, is almost 7. Andrew, my son, is 4. Still, we have not been successful with training them to sleep in their own bedrooms. For the longest time, the kids slept with Melody, my wife, in Kate’s bedroom. I was relegated to sleep on the master’s bed with the dog. It does help that he is so soft and cuddly. But still.
Several weeks ago, we suddenly had an idea. We dragged Kate’s mattress into the master’s bedroom and lay it beside our bed. The idea was to let the kids sleep there so my wife and I can finally sleep on the master’s bed. This worked flawlessly for a couple of weeks. Afterwards, the kids caught on to our scheme and wanted to sleep on the big bed. My initial instinct was to say no but I compromised and told them that on weekends, a kid can sleep beside a parent.
Perhaps, as the new year comes, I can resolve to spend less energy on acquiring stuff. I can instead heed Pope Francis’ call to “waste time” with the ones I love.
Well, tonight, it was Andrew’s turn to be beside me. Melody was demoted to the smaller bed with Kate. We spent a brief moment in prayer. Shortly afterwards, Andrew was sound asleep. There was enough light from outside that I was able to see the outline of Andrew’s face. I laid my hands on him and prayed a prayer I heard at church yesterday: “The LORD bless you and keep you! The LORD let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! The LORD look upon you kindly and give you peace!”
As I just looked at him and listened to his breathing, I realized how immensely blessed I am to have such a precious little boy. I remembered how excited he was earlier tonight. He was given a miniature version of Thomas the Tank Engine and he was playing with it. I played with him for a few minutes but I remembered that I needed to tend to my car. The tire pressure has been low for a couple of weeks and I finally had time to put some air on the tires. My air compressor was finicky and the process took longer than it should have. I was concerned about my wife’s safety and decided to inflate her tires too.
Andrew shifted on the bed. It brought my thoughts back to him. It made me realize how I could have spent more time playing with him tonight if I didn’t need to tend to our vehicles. Where we live, public transportation is (almost) non-existent so having more than one vehicle is a necessity.
What is not necessary though, is having more than one computer. Earlier this year, I decided to get a desktop computer. Our laptop was still very fast but my work entitled me to get another computer so I decided to get a new one. It was the computer of my dreams! An iMac with a ginormous 5K display, lots of memory, and a super fast drive.
While I was using the newer computer this afternoon, the antivirus program ran automatically and detected a virus. I had to spend time cleaning that up. I also decided to run the antivirus on the older laptop. A virus was also detected and I also had to tend to that.
Then I had an epiphany. The more stuff that I have, the more time I need to tend to my stuff.
This epiphany had a corollary: The more time I spend tending to my stuff, the less time I have to spend with the ones I love.
This made me realize how far I’ve fallen recently. I have just been so consumed with gadgets and gizmos… with stuff. It didn’t help that acquiring stuff is much easier these days. I didn’t even have to physically go anywhere. Amazon.com made sure getting stuff is just a mouse click or a tap away. That’s why the past year felt so busy — I was spending too much time acquiring stuff and tending to them!
The irony is that my stuff didn’t necessarily made me happier. Tinkering with an antivirus software did not move the needle on my happiness meter. Inflating 2 sets of tires did not make me feel warm and fuzzy.
When I think about it, the happiest I have been today was when I was watching Andrew as he slept. I felt so much joy as I gently laid my hands on his chest to feel it move as he was breathing.
