Learning to ride a bike at the age of 36

‘It’s really not that hard Seema; just push down the left pedal and then push down the right!’

I got it mentally, but emotionally, I was a mess. I just couldn’t imagine seeing myself balancing and gliding away on two wheels. We were in Phuket, and my friend Lyndsey was trying to teach me how to ride a bike. She’s a Physical Education teacher, so she knows how to work with people who have no sense of body awareness or coordination. But despite her best efforts to stay positive, even Lyndsey’s considerable reserves of patience were already wearing thin.

We were on a beautiful location, a private beach in an exclusive hotel, and I had chatted earlier to Lyndsey about finally trying to ride a bike. I had tried to learn with other friends before, but if I felt so humiliated — a 35 year old woman getting pushed on a bike by her friends! — that I would despair, give up, and decide that maybe bike riding wasn’t going to happen this lifetime. Staying on this quiet and peaceful beach would be the perfect opportunity for me to finally learn, but I couldn’t help but be resentful at not somehow grasping it by the end of that weekend. I felt like I had let myself and Lyndsey down.

I had grown up indoors, which is quite easy to do when you are the eldest first-generation British child born to Bangladeshi parents in Scotland. I think my mum has never understood why anyone would want to leave their house when it’s below 20 degrees outside. My siblings all learned to cycle when they were young, but I was a quiet and shy child to begin with, and after a bad fall down a flight of stairs at the age of 3, I became even more clumsy, overweight and self-conscious.

It goes without saying then that I hated PE. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I actually attended those classes as a pupil. In the end, my last secondary school PE teacher gave up and we’d just chat during the lessons instead.

Fast forward to me, aged 34, working in an international school in Thailand. It quickly became apparent that there were more opportunities available for teachers living in a warm and beautiful country than sitting at home and watching Come Dine With Me every evening after a long day at work. For the first time in my life I could also afford to go on lovely holidays and try out new and exciting experiences. Some of them were more interesting if you could cycle part of them instead of just walking the route.

The school I worked in also had a strong focus on extra-curricular activities and sports. It was humbling to see most of these young people keeping on top of their academic work, while also playing sports and undertaking outdoor challenges in order to complete their International Award. I slowly started to go from being resigned and embracing my lumpen state when it came to being fairly inactive, to suddenly wanting to be a little bit more dynamic, and a little bit more adventurous. One way to do that would be to actually learn how to ride a bike.

Unfortunately, my body had other ideas. I remember shuddering when I first got on a bike, and promptly falling over. My whole body would be vibrating with fear and I couldn’t control my movements.

So many friends tried to teach me to just push down one pedal while placing my foot on the other, but I just couldn’t do it. I stopped and started trying to learn so many times. Living in a hot climate in Bangkok, in a condo right in the middle of the city also made the thought of heading outside with my bike seem very off-putting.

On the rare occasions when I’d attempt to do just that, I’d trundle along, walking my bike to the nearest park, and stumble and fall off my bike often. Finding a spot where I could make a complete prat of myself was also challenging.

My final, ‘breakthrough’ moment came when I went on a solo holiday to Sukhothai, the former capital of Thailand in December that year. My hotel was in a quiet and peaceful location a couple of kilometres near the park. They also had some bikes which I could borrow for free.

It was the perfect situation: an empty back lot with no one seeing me making an utter fool of myself. However, I still couldn’t quite manage it. I still kept missing the other pedal and falling over when I tried to push away. But at some point, my foot managed to hit the other pedal, and I could glide away…yay!!!

…and then I heard the barking. Some soi dogs spotted me and clearly thought I should stop whatever it was I was doing and get off their patch. It sounded like there was a wild pack of them. I used my new found cycling skills to pedal away as quickly as I could.

I can’t even describe to you the high I felt afterwards. I can’t remember feeling so much joy as I did on that day.

So, I didn’t have the confidence (or the road sense) to cycle from the hotel to Sukhothai National Park, but I hired a bike from a shop nearby. Once again, I struggled to balance, but when I found it, I started to fall in love again with the freedom of cycling around that area.

Since then, I moved to Budapest and have intermittently cycled on nice days. Part of my success with being able to cycle more skilfully has been in huge part to my friend Belinda’s husband, Andy. He has provided so much support and coaching to ensure that I improve my cycling skills, and has taught me how to look after my bike too. Clearly Andy, like my friend Lyndsey, likes a challenge: he used to be a firefighter, and his ability to keep cool in stressful situations came in handy when I crashed into a telegraph pole outside his house. I missed my teeth by inches! Basically I was so fixated on avoiding the pole that I kept staring at it before I crashed into it. But he was also very determined to make sure I didn’t give up, and I’ve constantly kept Andy updated on my cycling endeavours after he moved back to England.

I currently work at a school on top of a hill; cycling to work is therefore currently beyond my skillset at the moment, but my goal is to cycle out to it one day. Cycling in traffic is getting a little less terrifying each time I go around and remind myself that I know how roads work since a) I’m a pedestrian and b) I can drive a car! Budapest holds a ‘critical mass’ cycling event where they shut down the main roads and let cyclists take over. I’m going to take Andy up on his suggestion that I take part later this year.

It’s great to read blogs about fellow cyclists who learned this amazing life skill later than most. Other older learners always seem to report how they were able to cycle away simply after an hour with a coach. That was not my experience, but I’m very glad that I persevered.

What helped me to gain more confidence in my cycling abilities:

• Finding a mentor who regularly encouraged me to go cycling with him.
• Developing more of a positive outlook. If I made a mistake, I would remind myself that even highly skilled cyclists have accidents sometimes. Plus, reaction times and general road awareness when cycling improve rapidly the more you practise.
• Keep getting on the bike until it becomes second nature.
• I stopped comparing myself to others.