Self Confidence
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Self Confidence

Financial Freedom and God

Photo by Karsten Winegeart

I used to think that freedom was something attained when I wasn’t limited by circumstances. It certainly made sense to me that a rich person was freer than a homeless person.

It also made sense to me to feel insecure when there wasn’t much money in the bank. I considered that normal and pragmatic. I actually believed it was a good thing to be insecure about money because it let me know it was time to figure out how to make more.

Naturally from this line of thinking, I put a lot of energy into whatever seemed to be limiting my freedom, and whatever to be seemed to be causing my insecurity.

Then I experienced an insight that flipped that on its head.

I saw that there was a space within me, a spiritual space, that was unmoveable. It's like sinking back into the womb of creation. It’s hard to explain, but it’s easy to experience. When the mind is empty there’s a certain quietness that transcends the world. It’s almost like taking a vacation from life, but really you’re only taking a vacation from the circus of thoughts that make your experience.

Anyway, that space was like a concrete foundation within myself… I recognized it instantly as a space that I could always fall back on. A foundation where I could rest my feet. Something eternal, before time and space.

It was very pleasant, and peaceful.

Whereas before, whenever I felt ‘off’, I would try to fix whatever I thought was making me feel off, after this insight, I found myself naturally gravitating to this space instead. Every time I felt insecure, I would allow myself to fall away from those insecure thoughts, whether they were about money or anything else, and return to this home within me.

It felt like my whole life I had been treading water on the deep end of a swimming pool, trying to survive, living with constant low-level anxiety. I realized that if I just relax my mind and let the world slip away for a moment, my feet could touch the ground of the swimming pool. It was like I was actually in the shallow end the whole time. But this ground was a spiritual ground in the sense that it’s like the foundation of my soul. Something felt sacred about it.

Anyway, all this to say, until that point, I had been looking toward things in the world to give me that sense of security. Whether it was enough money to quell my fear of running out of money, keeping the body at maximum health to keep sickness at bay, being inauthentic with people, and people-pleasing in order to sustain relationships which I believed I needed in order to feel whole in myself…

But now I found an immovable sense of security within my very being.

This completely fulfilled that sense of security I had been desperately trying to find my whole life in all those other aspects. It had always been there within myself, I was just too caught up in thought to realize it.

Back to financial freedom.

What is freedom except being able to express yourself without fear?

And what is there to be afraid of when you know that everything you could ever want or need is already within you? That you can’t lose the feeling of security, of wellbeing, and peace of mind.

Money doesn’t buy freedom, at least the lasting freedom that is true fulfillment. Lasting freedom comes from knowing that no matter what happens, there’s a beautiful space within you where you can rest. Not just rest, but actually live from.

Financial freedom is fear in disguise because it places the condition of freedom on finances. It’s a mirage. So long as you’re looking to the outside world for security instead of towards the space within you, you’ll always find a reason to feel insecure. No matter how much money you have.

The moment you remember that unshakeable foundation within you, you’ll have full freedom. Absolute, unconditional, total freedom.

To me that just straight up hella more awesome than financial freedom…



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Peter Adrian

Peter Adrian


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