Don’t Give into Pressure
Pressure is the one thing that many of us face on a day to day basis which has the capability to change the trajectory of our life…
It is as if society especially in the western world do everything in their power to not let you stand out but instead conform to social norms
And if you’re talking about the social norms being the average person on the street numbing themselves to technology just unfulfilled with life… I will happily be the outlier
It’s actually funny that instead of conducting our own research, we will look around at what others are doing and simply copy what we see.
This can be seen in our human biology as we have a natural tendency to go with the “social default” to the point where we end up making unconscious decisions similar to that of a robot
This is why you may have notice that more people end up giving you a dirty look instead of smiling back when you smile at them… I think that might just be me lol
We are also way more likely to hurry up our decision-making process when we felt there is a pressure to hurry, even if that means you risk looking “stupid” or holding up the line
However, we have to realise that just because everyone else seems to be making a quick decision doesn’t mean they know best
This is also partly the reason Porn and masturbation for young men is so normalised in our culture.
Your mind along with people around you will be whispering in your ear saying “Just take a lil peek, it’s just harmless Porn… besides everybody watches it…”
And we have honestly lost the self control and self discipline to steer away from lust. This is why I also believe that these things are in place to overall weaken men so that “daddy’ meaning the government have more control over society
Bro trust me if every guy out there was actively practicing semen retention to the best of their ability, chasing their dreams, eating healthy, exercising and overall doing the work where testosterone is at an all time high, we would not have let it slip this far…
I mean take what has happened with the situation we have had since March 2020, we literally had the government control our freedom, the one thing that all humans should have the free-will to give it up at least… its honestly scary.
The Confirmation Bias of Social Media
Another thing I want to talk about is the Confirmation Bias we get from Social Media especially. A Confirmation Bias is essentially the natural tendency to interpret and remember new information related to pre-existing beliefs
Due to the shear number of people using Social Media, you can either be the most hated person on the internet or the most loved depending on which was the pendulum is swinging
I’ll give you an example pineapple on pizza, I’m pretty sure it started off with Gordon Ramsay on TV shows basically throwing up whenever someone offered him pineapple on pizza…
But as this opinion surfed social media many people’s perception of pineapple of pizza is skewed towards absolutely hating pineapple… and you reading this may be one of them lol
Now look down on the view count right, I’m willing to bet a lot of them have a strong opinion on pineapple on pizza yet they have never tried it in their lives…
You can say the same thing about Rotten Tomatoes and as you’re scrolling through the movies that you could potentially watch, you also keep a record of what the ratings are for the movie
Even though that movie could be pure gold, Rotten tomatoes would have “Peer Pressured” you into not watch that particular movie simply because other people think its not that great
Peer Pressure Stems from Insecurity
And this whole discussion regarding Pressure from other people usually stems from their own insecurities
So me personally I don’t drink or smoke… I was one of those people that drank alcohol once and when I said “I’m not drinking again” I really meant it
I personally hated that hangover feeling also coupled with the fact that I’m at a stage of my life where I’m heavily into self-improvement and drinking/smoking will only slow down the progress that I’m already making
Now I already know that there is someone out there who’s jumping out of their seat thinking “What do you mean you don’t drink, is everything okay?”
It’s actually a little bit funny because people would come at me as if I have a problem when I’m NOT taking external substances
And you have to realise that the reason why people come up to you like this because you’re invalidating their own insecurities to not exactly conforming to what they’re doing
You actually begin to realise the reality of the situation where many people use alcohol as a big crutch rather than a social lubricant to express their true personality with no fear- this is probably why it is called liquid courage lol
But as the effects wear off and the have zero alcohol in their system, they struggle to hold a decent conversation without stumbling on their words
Another type of pressure which is common in the Asian community is Parental Pressure. We have to realise that parent tend to have their best interest at heart and are doing what they feel is right
However, we have to realise that once you’re 18 and above, you have control over your own life, even though you might feel the same way I do, there is the psychological control that parents have that is our responsibility to break out of
Because I’m going to keep it real, as morbid as this sounds our parents are not going to be around forever and this life you have right now is completely in your hands- how you end up playing the game of life is up to you at that point
We have to take into account that the older generation are still trying to figured life out the same way we are, even though we would have had this perception of our parents that they have figured life out when this couldn’t be further from the truth
As a result, unnecessary levels of parental pressure may end up resulting in them passing down their own insecurities, anxiety and unfinished past traumas down to you that we have to take responsibility to unravel in our own lives
Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Despite there being a lot of negative external pressure in our lives, 9/10 a lot of this “pressure” we feel is usually amplified internally within our own minds, in the form of negative self-talk
It is actually a psychological fact that up to 70 percent of all spontaneous thoughts are negative, so it seems that negativity appears to be our default setting. But know that me and you watching this have a choice.
This in essence is what having faith and hope means because you know that your situation will become better
There are many types of battles that I’m going to go over that every one of us face in our lives, which is greatly described in the book called “Get Out of Your Head”:
The Battle of Distraction and Complacency:
Distraction and getting complacent is the reason why it’s so easy for many of us to dive head first into procrastination, constantly stuck on Social Media heavily influencing our way of thinking and imposing unnecessary pressure and negative limiting beliefs on ourselves
And subconscious we all know that we should get on with that work and stop spending our time consuming meaningless content… but the opposite to distraction is to practice stillness with Meditative practices
This actually gives us the opportunity to become aware that we’re going down this downward spiral which is usually caused by the external world around you
Now you are finally giving your brain an opportunity to instil positive thoughts and being grateful for acknowledging where you are in life and the progress that you have made, whilst being able to give back and add value to the people around you
The Battle of Shame and Victimhood:
This is holding the belief that we can do life alone and you proactively push people away, isolate yourself because every time you go out into the real world for some reason only negativity and unwanted pressure come your way
So what I’m essentially talking about is the “lone wolf” mentality, which is something I can whole heartedly relate to & I will probably make a video about this in the future
Trust me, I’m a bit of an old soul and I love my solitude, but I will be lying if I said I am doing everything alone. Even if you are very introverted like myself, the need for community is neurologically and psychologically hardwired into us, giving us the freedom to share our feelings and feel a sense of human connection and feeling understood
Our weapon against shame and victimhood is community and being grateful. In other words, having an open mind in letting people in and not be afraid to be yourself and proactively give value to the people around you
This is along with expressing gratitude of the position you are at in life along with appreciating all the good people around you, especially in a world where conformity and negativity is pushed into our minds at such an early age
The Battle of Fear and Cynicism:
Having that lingering feeling of “What if?”, “What if I just asked that girl out?” or “What if they think of be differently if I pursue X?”.
Trust me the stress that this fear that you are probably experiencing in your life making you miss out on the best bits of life
Our weapon against fear and cynicism is surrender and trusting in the process, knowing that our hard work and efforts are being put to good use which we will reap the rewards of our labour in the future
Establish Your Own Life Philosophy
Now this is the part of the story where I’m going to be talking about where you should go from here… like I’m talking specific advice that I’ve personally used to get you to stick to your values as supposed to giving in to pressure like the majority of people
Okay take a piece of pen and paper right now and write down the 10 principles that you live by regarding your own life and I know most people reading this are going to click off or zone out because it isn’t some sexy solution, but trust me this works!
Because trust me the last thing you want to do is life the next 5–10 years of your life mindlessly giving into pressure only to think “Ah crap I messed up…”
It’s actually funny because I can definitely say from experience, the most insecure people are usually in their teens and 20s because that is usually the period where you don’t really know yourself as you have probably gone about your life listening to the advice of others
Also for whatever reason the education system never system never teaches us the importance of doing deep introspection
But the complete opposite is true for those in their 30s and 40s who usually have more life experience and have this “who really cares” attitude which is incredible
I will be honest though, trying to really distinguish whether your beliefs are really yours comes from practicing stillness and journaling about your preconditioned beliefs
Hopefully this story was helpful
