Here’s How You Can Be More Relatable
Being relatable is one of those useful skills when you first meet someone and you’re trying to build a connection on a common interest
And relatability is the cure for feeling understood, in a world where feeling disconnected from a world where we’re glued to our screens is a norm
This might be hard to believe but, the fact that I feel completely misunderstood when explaining something to somebody who is Blissfully Ignorant is literally my worst nightmare
So, this video is honestly more for the younger me who struggled to articulate his thoughts in a cohesive manner, so the other person understands what you’re trying to say
The typical conversation starters of: “So what football team do you support…” or “So what’s your favourite food?” is how most of us move forward with conversations
You can almost imagine improving your skill of relatability as almost exactly like improving your WIFI connection
So for the first example, I’m going to use is memes and how they feel so relatable
Why Memes are so relatable
For our generation memes act as a Source of Coping as a Collective & Express the truth
The fact that I’m calling Memes a piece of Art is something that I would’ve never thought would come out of my mouth but it’s true
We all feel the same emotions, tensions, and stress in such situations, making our feelings mutual and feel understood rather than left feeling lonely and miserable
Here is when our brain immediately secretes happy hormones such as endorphins and oxytocin when you see a meme that is relatable and just hits home
The Dark Side of Memes
Despite memes acting as a source of temporary escape for most of us, there is in fact a dark side to memes and the amount of influence they could have on someone’s behaviour and potentially the outcome of society
You’re probably sitting there thinking “It’s just memes, you just need to relax…”
Ok, I do understand because how can a harmless meme really change the trajectory of society… I mean it can and it already has
So, from what we know, memes can be jokes that emerge and evolve organically by social media users
OR they can be constructed in a way to trick people into trusting the information and sharing it across Social Media
Thankfully this hasn’t happened yet
The Power of Storytelling
Another powerful way to become more relatable is through storytelling and more specifically talking about our younger selves
Along with integrating our mistakes and learning lessons we pick up from life, whilst giving the reader the option to pick the golden nuggets out of these stories without it going against your own self-beliefs
So for instance, if 100% of people reading this completely agree with what I’m saying, I’m actually doing something wrong
Either:
- I have turned into an Authoritative Leader who is trying to shift people’s self-beliefs the way I would like to see them. This is in fact inhumane as it strips away from what makes you watch this you.
- I’m not being polarising and authentic enough with my own Self-Beliefs. Where there are some stories out there with wishy-washy life advice which say:
“So, one thing you should take away from this story is life is long and short, go chase your dreams but don’t work too hard… and make sure to have balance, you only live once…”
Not only did I waste a couple of seconds of your life of you reading the quote above, but it has also diluted the message of what I have to say
This wishy-washy behaviour which I have also personally gone through usually stems from a place of insecurity and anxiety, in the efforts of trying to please other people
So if I decide to do this and implement this into this story, this essentially indicates that I don’t have the balls to provide insight into the direction I’m going in my own life
This essentially stems back to one thing- your levels of self-awareness
Self-awareness is Key
Self-awareness will especially be helpful as you will notice when you are forming or changing opinions about other people
So, there are 7 billion people in the world and you most likely don’t have an opinion on them- you don’t like them, hate them, distrust them… in fact, you are very neutral with them
But within the first couple of minutes, that stranger comes up to you and starts a conversation, you are going to form a very strong opinion of them
“He seems like a really cool guy I would definitely spend time with him”
Even though you may not know their whole life story… for all you know they could be lying out of their teeth… but what you’re picking up on without realising are very subtle cues
Expressions and Patterns
I think we all know when someone is paying attention to us when we’re talking to them and the most noticeable one is eye contact
Even though they could be talking to you, they could be darting their eyes around not fully engaged in what you’re saying
“Uh-huh, yep, yeah…” where you nod your way out of the conversation- I can’t lie I think we’re all
Also, we need to be aware of our emotions and 80 to 90% of them can be extracted from your face and the tonality of your voice
But what’s more difficult are microexpressions i.e., when someone is feeling something but they’re trying to hide it
Say you’re in a job interview and the person across the table goes:
“Okay, we see your resume… well uh we’ll call you back”
Straight away we can identify the pattern along with the slight hesitation
I hate to break it to you but most likely you probably didn’t get the job offer
It may be hard to notice by you will see the other person lose momentary control and flash a fragment of the whole expression they would have expressed normally
You can in fact practice this Skill of Predicting in everyday life
Funnily enough, I used to do this subconsciously do this because I know for myself I either accidentally I’m either hyperaware or overanalyse the body language of someone
Or I become completely clueless about the subconscious cues that you’re supposed to pick up on because I become too busy being in my own head
So now another question you may be asking yourself is…
Ok it’s all cool being self-aware and picking up on these subtle cues, but how exactly should you carry yourself to be more relatable
Because you don’t want to be arrogant to the point where you seem like you’re a narcissist
However, at the same time, you don’t want to be overly humble where your message becomes diluted as all you’re talking about is how much you don’t know and are not confident in your own actions
Become a Humble Narcissist
Ok, so how on earth can you be narcissistic and humble at the same time? The two qualities sound like opposites, but funnily enough, they can go hand in hand
Narcissists believe they’re special and superior; humble leaders know they’re imperfect and flawed
Humble narcissists bring the best of both worlds: they have bold visions, but they’re also willing to acknowledge their weaknesses and learn from their mistakes
So, in the context of just Narcissism, even though that term may have negative connotations, I do think the best example I can think of right now is Conor McGregor in his prime and the level of arrogance he would carry himself as he continued to win his fights.
The “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude, in this case, worked as he was able to walk the walk and every guy watching him deep down wishes we had the balls to have that swag.
I do believe this is the reason why we’re attracted to that Narcissistic Underdog Mindset as whether you love him or hate him it just seems as if he had unlimited potential.
We can also see that many of the modern business world’s most successful CEOs exhibit narcissistic characteristics and some of them being Elon Musk and Bill Gates, who have achieved phenomenal success by blending confidence and risk-taking with strategy development and execution
Narcissism tends to make you whilst dismissing criticism and fall victim to flattery. They surround themselves with yes-men and take unnecessary risks.
People remember how you made them feel… so if I made you feel heard and understood and made you think “This guy gets me” along with providing valuable content, you will inevitably end up coming back to my content for more
Now sprinkle in a dose of humility and humour, which is exactly what I’m going to get onto next, will prevent you from getting complacent
More importantly, this will help you develop your level of empathy to connect with others on a deeper human level
The Humour Effect
The Humour Effect is a cognitive bias that acts in a similar way to the Halo Effect you get from someone who is physically attractive, as we subconsciously think they are more knowledgeable and have a better personality than someone who is less physically attractive
This in turn will cause people to trust and remember your information better when you are trying to get your point across
As for myself, I have a taste in Dark Humour, Sarcasm and an attitude of being straight to the point when it comes to writing these stories you’re reading now
However, I will admit that’s not everyone’s cup of tea… but remember how I mentioned Polarisation just previously?
Yessir, we’re essentially going to go for a quick 1–2 and close the deal with a small group of loyal readers like yourself who likes my personality and the way I present the topic of discussion. Now sure, you may not 100% agree with all my points
Now imagine if I approached writing this story with no polarisation and on-the-fence opinions and life advice…
Because it’s funny I’m literally using these techniques right in front of you in this story, whether you realise it or not
I appreciate you reading this story, I hope you found some value
