When you lose a parent, it’s like you’ve lost a huge part of your world. Your mom or dad has been with you since your first breath and knowing they won’t be there for the rest of your life’s journey is tough. It’s something that a lot of people go through, but when it happens to you, it feels totally different and very personal. Everybody grieves in their own way; some folks cry a lot, others don’t let their tears show, and some might even pretend like everything’s OK even when it really isn’t.
The thing is, there’s no right or wrong way to feel when you’re grieving. After a parent passes away, you might have a bunch of different emotions hitting you all at once or you may feel kind of numb. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, confused, or even relieved, especially if your parent was sick for a long time. Sometimes, these feelings can come and go, or you might feel them all at once.
One important piece of advice is to let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling. You don’t have to hold it in or act tough. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. If you’re mad, find a safe way to let out that anger — maybe by talking to a friend, writing in a journal, or going for a run. It’s all part of healing, and it’s OK to give yourself that space to feel things.
Talking to people about your parent can really help, too. Sharing stories about them, good and bad, can make you feel like they’re still a part of your life. It can also help you remember all the good times. You don’t have to go through this alone, and opening up can be good for you and the people listening who probably want to help.
Some days will be harder than others, especially when you hit those big moments like birthdays or holidays. It’s normal to miss your parent a whole lot more on those days. Planning ahead can help a bit. Maybe you can start a new tradition on those days to honor your parent. That way, they’re still a part of those special times.
Giving yourself a break is super important. Grieving takes a lot of energy, and it can make you feel exhausted. If you don’t feel like doing something, it’s fine to say no and take some time to rest. You’re going through a lot, and sometimes you need time to just chill and do something that makes you feel a little better, even if it’s just for a little while.
Also, taking care of yourself is key. It can be really easy to forget to eat right or get enough sleep when you’re sad. But trying to keep up with those basic things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough rest can really make a difference in how you feel. It’s like when your phone runs out of battery; you gotta recharge.
And if you’re finding it really hard to deal with things, it can help to talk to a counselor or join a support group. There’s no shame in getting help when you need it. A counselor can give you tools to cope with your grief and joining a support group can connect you with other people who really get what you’re going through.
Remembering your parent is also a way to keep their memory alive. You can keep photos around, continue to do things you both enjoyed, or do something special in their honor. It could be planting a tree, volunteering at a place they cared about, or just listening to their favorite music. This keeps them close to your heart.
Finally, be patient with yourself. Grieving is a process, and it doesn’t have a set end date. It’s like recovering from a really bad cold; it takes time and you gotta take it day by day. Don’t rush yourself through it or think you should be over it by now. Your grief is your own, and it’s all about taking steps to help yourself feel better, even if those steps are really small.
Just hang in there. It’s tough losing a parent, and it’s OK to not be OK for a while. In time, the pain will get easier to handle, and you’ll find new ways to keep going with your parent’s memory as a part of who you are.
Sources
- https://www.hopehealthco.org/blog/6-ways-to-help-you-heal-after-the-loss-of-a-parent/
- https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/grief/psychologists-tips-for-grieving-the-loss-of-a-parent/
- https://www.healthline.com/health/losing-a-parent
- https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/loss-of-parent
- https://www.dignitymemorial.com/grief-and-sympathy/losing-a-loved-one/when-a-parent-dies-dealing-with-the-loss-of-your-mother-or-father
