Flearning — The Art of Learning from Failure.
Looking at my life, I guess most onlookers will say I’ve had it pretty easy and I’m not going to dispute them. I don’t know what constitutes an ‘easy’ life but I guess I make the cut, that’s a good thing right?
Truly I’ve always felt that things that are harder for other people have always come a little more naturally to me. It may be I’m gifted or I’m blessed. For a long time, I refused to think that it had anything to do with me as an individual and any conscious effort I had put in to be better. But now I realize that I’ve been so wrong, and so have they.
It’s not about having it easy, it’s about expecting more from yourself than others expect from you. I am harder on myself than anyone else could possibly be; I am my worst critique, my strictest judge.
So, Life may seem easy on me just to cut me some slack because even I am not easy on me lol.
What exactly constitutes the ‘easy’ life?
This the question to which I’m sure there are very different answers. For most people, it means wealth which equals access to basic necessities like food, water and clothing with proper education and housing thrown in. Sprinkle in a few other luxuries and it spells ‘easy’. Some go further to equate ‘easy’ to successful to happy.
Easy= Successful=Happy
Is this proper math?
By this definition, rich people should be on the top of the ‘easy’ pyramid and experts on all things ‘happy’ which is definitely not the case in reality. So that was definitely some poor math.
Flearning as I go
I never pretended to be strong or claimed to know it all.
I only struggled to find my way and stay true even as I stumbled along.
Life has taught me plenty, and it has always been beyond my journeying. I might seem to be on the right track and going at top speed, but is because I’ve learned to bluff. To do things afraid. To literally push myself forward as my whole spirit pulled behind. And every day still feels like I might derail.
Failure gives you a chance to course-correct.
2019 has been one of my most challenging years so far. There were times when I felt like I couldn’t move even an inch more; I stretched myself almost to my elastic limit and beyond. It sometimes got so frustrating that a good cry was the only release I could get.
And did I fail? Uncountable times. I was doing so many things for the first time which means I was bound to epic fails. But what most people ignore about failure is that it gives you a chance to course-correct. You keeping doing it again and again and again, making changes as you go along. It’s not a life or death matter. No one will die if you don’t get it right so make room to fail. And it's going to hurt like hell. It may take bitten, bleeding hands, frustrated tears, mental breakdowns and near-death experiences. And you still might not even succeed in the end lol. But allow yourself to try.
The real victory is not winning. Winning is great, we all know that. But knowing in the end that you put your back to it, gave it an immeasurable percent and came out still standing? That’s all the force you need to throw you unto the next task and the next plan. I’m a great believer in the power of the journey over the destination.
Trust in the steps you are taking now which may seem to be taking you nowhere. Trust in your inner compass to keep going. But don’t forget to flearn as you go along. And remember that ‘easy’ is an overrated and very relative term. And if someone else’s lane looks better, ask for tips, don’t ask to swap!
Allow yourself to try.
ANd more importantly, don’t waste your failures. Learn from them. Make them count.
I’m really proud of myself for writing my first (hopefully) coherent words after months lol. There is so much that needs telling, but maybe I did overstretch that elastic limit I talked about so I need time 😆
