I Broke My Heart
A poem
If I try so hard I guess I would remember.
What’s there to recall?
Is it our love, how deep and true it had been?
Does it involve you pulling me gently into your arms
touching, soothing…?
It is certainly about your smile
how large and loud it had been.
You were —
A thought that lingered on my mind,
Your soft dark eyes piercing into mine
Filled with terror, with pain,
The pain I had caused you
The pain you held so closely,
Pain that ruined you, changed you.
You were —
A dream that occurred and reoccurred
You watched me break my own heart,
Rip the bloody mess out of my chest,
You watched me break my own heart,
but you wouldn’t come closer
you wouldn’t take my heart from me
you wouldn’t save me, not this time.
The weariness in your eyes was blinding.
You were —
A morning song; that wasn’t filled with sweet melodies,
Those that make you hump and shake your feet
Every melody a dark clumsy sky that brought no rain
Rain would cleanse us, fill us but it refused to rain.
You stood there waiting for me to come home,
Beckoning me to come forward, to come forth,
The only movable thing in me was
the frustration of tears down my cheeks.
The world had come between us
till we could no longer see each other,
We just knew the other was there somewhere.
A world of different forms that took different names
Dressed as pride, masqueraded as money, friendly as guilt.
Then, there she was raggedly dressed —
the miserable one that one died,
our love expired.
