Mère Douce
You have been everything and more
Hey ma,
I know we see every day and it is kinda weird writing you a letter, but as you know, there are things I can only express in words. Via mediums as this. Things that my tongue has not learned to confess and truths I am not brave enough to share. But in the magic of wordplay, I find the courage to pour out my heart for all to see.
I can’t remember how we met, but I remember what brought me into the care of your love. I don’t remember how old I was, but I do remember that it has been so many years and I have never felt the absence of your warmth. In my mind, you are my biggest gift ever, in my heart, there is no spot warmer than yours.
In the darkness of my confusion, self-doubt and low self esteem, you have been the light illuminating my path. I have suffered a lot in my short life and I have tasted of bitter waters and dark places, but you have been a home i could always run to. You have been a warm hug and an unfailing body armor, keeping me safe and loved. I survived this long because of you.
Of the millions of people whose childhoods were filled with unending wants and abusive parents, I have had the privileged of not being counted in their ranks. I stand proud, head raised high when I think of the life I have had. Many children who grew up in similar situations as I did faced a different life, one of pain and constant want; for material and emotional needs. My life was different from theirs; constant food in my belly and all my needs met. I obviously took it for granted growing up, but I have learnt to see that you love was not obligatory towards me. You loved me because you chose to and that makes all the more sweeter. You are my ma, and there has been no beginning to our bond for me, and definitely will be no end.
It must have been strange for you to see me turn so quickly into a fully grown person with problems and responsibilities of my own. But I am because you are, and there is no force strong enough to break my love for you. In everything I do, I try to mimic your approach; determination, accuracy and compassion. So, I guess in a way, I live with you every waking second of my day. You are with me at work, at social meetups and at church; and when I love, I try to do it as you have for me, from a place of purity and goodness, with no alter motive.
I could write the world for you, explain how your smile fills me with hope and how your frown darkens my day. I could try to explain why when you are angry, unhappy or sick, my mood is poor and my spirits are low. Or how your laughter, happiness and successes fuel me with positive anxiety and a drive to accomplish more. But many words will bore you, so I say;
Mère douce, in this journey of wonder you’ve placed me on, I will forever live to give testament to the love you have shown me and the peace you have brought me. In my darkest days, I will remember the sacrifices you have made for me, and in my swell moments, I remember all the humility you thought me. For the love between a son and a mother is life line and a compass, and DAMN!!! do I love you.
From the essence of all that I am, I love you dearly.
Mère douce.
Mère douce is the French equivalent of “Sweet Mother”.
I choose French because to me, french should be standardized as the global official love language (laughs! and laughs again).
In my country, French is one of two official languages (alongside English) and though I am yet to master it, it has always been part of my life growing up, and has in its own way, brought me a sense of identity.
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