Something Good is About to Happen.

Photo by Oluwakemi Solaja on Unsplash

This year has been one that will be forever engraved in my memories. This year I might fail to forget any details forever because this year my life took a different turn. It is almost as if the universe said, “Wake up, you adult. Take charge of your actions, of who you are, of your mistakes; your own share of difficulties take that too”. And for these I am grateful.

This year I’ve seen a different side to love, a different side to pain and with the death of my father by the middle of this year, I became familiar with a new feeling which is loss and the grief that follows. The emptiness, the unanswered questions that run through the mind and the regrets and sadness. Most importantly the growth that comes later.
How can I say that I’ve not grown? When I’ve felt my heights increase, when I’ve become a new person, seen different parts of me; parts I was unaware existed. When I’ve said yes to the things that scared me and those firm unexplained Nos; how can I remain ungrateful for these?

Many times this year amidst the pain and grief and all, I’ve had a strange and uplifting feeling telling me ‘Something good is about to happen’. A beautiful feeling this is, one reserved for those who love themselves enough to think they deserve something good. The best. Then I kept waiting for that something special which I sometimes realize is: this moment in which I am alive, this space I take up. Isn’t that wonderful?

I am thankful too, for these new habits I’ve developed, the ones I’ve let go, the ones that will need more effort and the ones that are just well, a part of me.

How can I forget the new friends, some I wish I had known earlier? This has been my challenge being able to make new friends, good friends. I did this somehow, I won. The old ones I’ve had for so long and that will always be there. How can I be ungrateful?

This year I’ve realized life is a constant battle.

A battle to stay alive. When you eat right, when you workout, when you smile, you win this battle.

A battle to remain happy. Happiness is not something often handed to you; most times you have to seize it. There no one at the market square sharing pieces of happiness. Create it, own it! When you can smile even with the tears in your eyes, you’ve won this battle.

A battle to forgive. For you see it is not easy to forgive. To tell your heart and mind, “Well, it’s okay now let’s not hurt, let it go.’’ For even when we forgive truly we heal ourselves. We win.

A battle to love. To give your heart away, knowing it could be shattered into a million pieces. To receive and accommodate love in any form, for all forms still count as love and to be irrevocably in love with oneself. Do this and win.

And challenges

A challenge challenging yourself to be better, moving away from your comfort zone. Making sure you succeed against all odds, flying with broken wings. When we can change and evolve each day. It is wonderful.

A challenge to be grateful. To acknowledge the power of gratitude, how rewarding she is, how generous she tends to be. How comforting she is. When you do this, you win.

A be-call to be filled with truth and integrity, amidst every cruelty and injustice. When your reward is most likely more cruelty. You could easily be pulled to the ‘other side’. A challenge to uphold your values and principles and maintain them.

How then can we not be grateful for every win? The new year is around the corner, new year new beginnings, more growth.

I know something good is about to happen, I know this because I am alive.