The Company We Keep
Do you ever stop to think about the people in your life? Lover, sibling, friend? Have you ever wondered what they say about who you are? What being in their company means to you and the odds that we absorb habits- both good and bad?
I stalk people. I psychoanalyse situations and most often, I read more than there is. This is especially important for me because I have trust issues. And I have no intention of ebbing on that anytime soon. I enjoy it actually.
The fact that I find it hard to trust people makes it easy for me to trust 100% when I finally do.
This hasn’t always been the case. And even with my family, there are things I can’t talk about because I can’t trust them to understand. Whereas I have friends I tell literally everything.
I can tell you this: it’s an amazing feeling to have a couple of confidentes. People who give you their opinion, not because they like the sound of your voice, but because they care about your well-being and can understand your state of mind.
I get it that my parents are from a different time. We have different references for things like respect, love and other values. I get that. Which is why as much as I may not trust them with certain things, it is my job to figure out the best way to communicate a situation that requires their input, or manage the situation in a way that lets them be content.
I like it when the company around me serves as both a support system and a pillar for celebration. Reason why I’m very picky. Reason why I give my all.
In the past year, I’ve met amazing people from various parts of the world. And a few have become such trusted people. For some, we’ve never even physically met. Which makes it more amazing.
I cherish those long distance conversations .
I am unapologetically picky with the people I confide in. How do I select them? Remind me to do a post.
In the meantime, I’d like to share a fiction piece based on the current topic. Enjoy.
Three tales, a smile and another nod.
One.
When I came to the restaurant, he was the only one at the table. Casually clothed, with his iPhone in hand and buds in the ear. I took my seat beside his table, but not with him. Angela came in when I was trying to pick the tune that got him so engrossed. She kissed me and started ranting about my sister’s request. Something about a Ballerina. I don’t remember. She asked me if I’d taken the pressing iron from the repairer. I just enjoyed the way her nose flared when she was scolding at me. So, I lied.
Two
The day before classes begun, Andrew and I moved around town. He’d not yet found a place to live. Classic him. He had enough money to get a decent place, but not enough to secure a location around campus. Knowing his propensity for female companionship, he was displeased at the thought of living away from school. I still don’t understand his explanation. Something about distance multiplied by location squared over closeness to school. I think he was messing with me, he had a huge grin when I tried to solve the equation silently as we moved around.
Three.
When Andrew got into the restaurant, he immediately recognized the headphone dude. It was Harry. I was certain I’d met him somewhere, I just didn’t make out where. Angela said hi to Andrew in her characteristic fake high pitch- she didn’t like him very much. According to her, he reeked mistrust. Her own words. Harry was still alone on his seat. We were three of us now, waiting for our ricey concoctions. Andrew sported a greedy smug. He knew Angela was going to pay, she always did whenever I was around. It was while he waited for his meal and was explaining some cock and bull story about yet another crush that his hand touched Harry- who by the way-didn’t even flinch. Andrew apologized and Harry nodded, slightly. He then looked at us for the first time. He made to head over to shake my hand when his friends came in, a noisy crew of hungry second years. I recognized some of them. Angela was still talking and Andrew was winking the waitress. Harry couldn’t leave his friends at the time. He looked over and caught my gaze. I nodded in acknowledgment and smiled. He returned my nod and sat back.
That was like the coolest moment I’ve ever had with another dude.
