We Need to Talk About Black Female Stigmas.
Because black women should not be extracted to be dynamic.
If there is anyone who ever brings up people of color in entertainment, you would immediately hear me incessantly praise black women who practically shatter the barriers put in place by decades of characterization or “cookie cut-outs.” These women could be anyone from Amandla Stenberg, who, in Everything, Everything, created a silent representation for breaking away from this role, to every woman of color in the award-winning musical, Hamilton. These women are changing hearts and minds slowly, one role at a time and little by little people are beginning to see past the absurdity of black female stigmas.
Because surely, surely we can’t all be what the television and media portray, right?
Right?
Unfortunately, there are strong ideas about how black women represent themselves in society. So strong in fact, that I have encountered people going out of their way to tell me exactly what I’m like, who I should be talking to, and just how much my future has been decided for me. Because I thoroughly enjoy hearing that, and I would love to hear it, especially every time I mention something that they think would align with the idea of said black female stigma.
But without further ado, here are your idea of black women, America:
The black girl.
She’s just like you, or your friend, or your neighbor, except she’s black. Wait a second, you might be thinking. This is not a stigma. Yes, yes it is. Before we can get into a more diverse way of thinking about black women, the joys of being this piece of entertainment, we must first address the fact that she’s there.
No, over there. The far left and back a-ways. Yes. There she is. Now we can develop that project. Make sure she’s in the camera frame. We need her so that the little ones can feel inclusive, and the big ones can stop complaining. Well, they will complain, but we need one. Let’s get a move on people!
So we’ve established that the black girl is present. But is she the star of the show? Not (mostly) without being one of these things:
The welfare goddess
She’s got at least five children all under the same roof. She’s on her own, making a living (or not) and fighting against the superiorities of the government, which she will inevitably outwit…and systematically destroy by taking government funds that she does not need. She couldn’t possibly need the funds. Who is she smuggling it to? She’s the reason for the entire government debt fiasco, right? And where is the father?
I am going to say it: somewhere along the way someone sat down and said, huh. A whole lot of black women are on welfare, right? Let’s do something on that. Yes, statistically, African-Americans have had the pleasure of leading America’s unemployment rates, welfare rates, high-school dropout rates, diabetes, you name it, we’ve got it. But not exactly. The welfare goddess is the black woman that society assumes is always deceiving the government. She’s sneaky and there’s absolutely no possible way she can raise her ten children without being the conniving scoundrel we all thought her to be.
The Leader
This woman is one that always has things under control and she hates men. You will never catch her near a man. Reliant on a man. Men are the scum of the earth…except…what’s this? Children? How did those get there? Despite hating men, she adores her children. In fact, if you ever, say anything about her children. She will hunt you down. Don’t you ever say anything. About. Her. Children.
This woman loves her children to death, but she will live vicariously through her children. Their struggles will be her struggles. Their image will be her images. She will always want the best for he- I mean, them. What mother doesn’t want the image of a young child to radiate resounding success everywhere they go. The man sure does not deserve the praise.
The Strong Black Woman
Not to be confused with the Independent Black Woman, who is not married. This is the only black woman to acknowledge the fact that a man may be vaguely connected to her. This woman is married, but you will never tell her what to do, men. Ever. She may clean the house, take care of the children, pay the bills (because she is also the only one competent enough to do one or all of those activities at once) but you will not tell her to calm down. How dare you ask for a bit of alone time. How dare you ask to help cook dinner.
These women alienate men, despite dealing in the same space as them, and when problems arise? They destroy the house. Rip the sheets apart. Whoever talks about their problems? And when they get done screaming a soliloquy while looking out the window at the top of their lungs, the dreaded man walks in.
Just in time for round two fellas.
And last, but certainly not least…
The Independent Black Woman/The Sapphire
The independent black woman is just old enough to be in the dating scene and just young enough to be so ambitious that a man is the last thing on her mind. She has a busy work schedule, nine hundred meetings and if you don’t stop talking to her right now, she’ll be late for that 8 pm conference halfway across town. She’s too busy for a man, and too detail oriented to even dream of finding someone that would meet her standards. Obviously, this woman is doomed to a life of perpetual singlehood because the pursuit of her goals is the only pursuit worth pursuing, right?
The independent black woman is too invested in her career to do anything else. Ever. She absolutely cannot enjoy the simple things in life, and has no empathy for her friends in their life situations, especially if they have anything to do with affairs of the heart. This woman is a shell of women of color because it makes her power hungry, and one note, without an inkling of personality.
None of these ladies accurately portray women of color in the real world. In the real world, black women have dimension, character, layered and complex and are wonderful. They don’t actively seek out to rob the government, undermine their husbands, the entire male species, and of course, there is a healthy balance of work and home possible. Some are even happily married. But this way of thinking is out there, and it is pushed down throats by the media, despite real attempts by black women everywhere to change it. And trust me, we try.
So ladies, hang in there, because the women above do exist, but only through exaggerated circumstance on a screen or stage. For now, please seek therapy if you ever have the urge to rip your house to shreds, before screaming your significant other (or children, or pets) out of house and home. If these needs do arise, you are not a character trope, you are tired, and we all have been there before, no matter what you may look like.
Marleena Garris is a student, writer, creative and aspiring actress. She has interesting views on just about anything, and could particularly go for a taco right about now.
She studies acting and digital media in the St. Louis area, is the editor and creator of a little publication called, Bits and Pieces, which you should follow for her self esteem.
Marleena is a freelance artist featured on Upwork, LadyBossBlogger.com and can be contacted by email at marleena.garris@gmail.com.
