Yes, we have emotions…
But we are not our emotions.
November 2016. You know, it feels like the end of the year to me. Every morning is like waking up to a New Year resolution.
It has been an amazing year. I’ve loved, lost, cried, laughed, listened, shared, hugged, kissed, smiled and even had a near death experience.
With all that has happened, I’m glad for every single day. And for every opportunity to remind myself that I am in charge of how I feel.
We are humans. We have emotions. We get mad at stupid things. In the moment, those things aren’t exactly stupid. In hindsight however…
Like the time when she called me “boy” and I blocked her on all social media and told her never to message me again.
Or the time when she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship and I deleted her contacts.
Or when I said some really mean things to some really special people.
Someone I was in a relationship with once said I was “too emotional”. She was right. And this year, I have experienced many facets of letting those emotions rule me and my decisions.
No, I haven’t killed anyone. And yes, I unblocked the lady who called me “boy”.
That was stupid. I am stupid sometimes.
Essentially, when I get upset , I don’t take deep breaths. I don’t count backwards from 100 to think. I’m not zen.
The times when I succeed to put a distance between who I am and my emotions, I just remember that I am in control. That I’ve got this.
Yes, I am angry. But I do not have a prerogative to act in anger. How then would I be different from a barking dog?
Okay, the dog is cute. But you get my point, yes?
And this doesn’t just help me in anger or other damaging scenarios.
I get depressed sometimes. It is NOT fun. I get to pull through by reminding myself that even if I have a hormone imbalance ( er…no..I don’t have medical evidence), or if this is of my doing…I’ve got this.
That I didn’t get this far by letting my fears and emotions map the path to my future.
Emotions are good. Great art is made when the artist channels these emotions unto creation.
Emotions can and should be channelled.
It’s a lesson I learned in 2016 by doing a lot of stupid things and paying the price- friendships, money, time.
And it is a lesson I remind myself every morning about.
I believe I’ve got this. It doesn’t work all the time, but it sure as hell has brought me this far.
You’ve got this.
Hi. I’m Tchassa Kamga and I write. I live in Buea, Cameroon. I’m an English Language Post Graduate student at the University of Buea. I also host a podcast and I freeze stuff on Instagram.
You can find me on Twitter,Snapchat, and Facebook.
Together with my good friend C. Befoune, we started Self-ish where we share personal essays on Self Improvement, Content Creation and Human Relationships.