Discovering Endless Joy & Happiness
I think everyone should get rich and famous, and do everything that they have dreamed of so that they can see that it’s not the answer.
- Jim Carrey
All 7 billion human beings walking on this planet are looking for one thing — Happiness. Somebody is looking at it in the form of money; while others think it’s in new clothes, cars, house, sex, food, marriage, children and you name it. These things do bring happiness for sure but, it not very long lasting.
There is a problem though. Since the time we were born, we have been craving for one thing or the other and once we get it, we enjoy it for some time and soon realize that it doesn’t fulfil us anymore. We then start looking for happiness in something else and this goes on eternally till we realize that what we want is not out there in the physical reality but within us. What we are seeking is not a certain thing or experiences itself but, happiness and a sense of fulfilment behind it.
You will be surprised to know that most of the suffering we are going through is created by our own mind and actions. Our mind has been making us beat ourselves for a long time. Therefore, it is time to take a break and analyze that what we are actually doing with our being. Right job, right car, house, clothes and spouse; do you really think that this a perfect recipe for happiness? Well, most of the rich people have it already and a lot of them are living a miserable life. A lot of them are popping pills to have a good night sleep while others are consulting therapists and psychologists. Life of rich people is full of insecurities and fear. For example, Lady Gaga continuously seeks for advice from the Dalai Lama. Recently, Chester Bennington (lead singer for the band Linkin Park) committed suicide. Therefore, we can easily conclude that materialism doesn’t give us permanent happiness.
But, now the question is what actually makes us really happy?
Well, the secret is living in the moment.
What if I tell you that you can be blissful and peaceful only in this “now” moment? Only if you stop telling yourself stories related to past and future, and stop identifying yourself with your thoughts, you will be left with is the present moment. Furthermore, instead of denying this moment, we should fully observe the presence of our being and embrace the now. We should not seek happiness as the outcome of certain activity in the future. Only if we remove the unnecessary suffering that we create for ourselves, we will realize that what we are usually left with is happiness.
This moment is made up of 4 things: Physicality (that you can see and touch), breath (input and output of information), mental thoughts and emotions (usually about recent past or future) and presence of being (which is simply observing everything). Also, there is underlying silence beneath everything. All the sounds and actions are coming from an empty space and going back to it.
Most of the people are acting compulsively as they relate themselves to their thoughts. We need to understand that body and mind makes up the field and what we should actually be is the knowers of the field. Once you observe the underlining nothingness beyond all activity, you will become that silent nothingness. That is the state to be in, this is where all the peace and happiness resides. The best part is that it is available to all of us right now, in this moment. We just need to make ourselves receptive and available. It has always been there and it will always remain there. All we have to do is shut down our compulsive activity and become conscious of this moment. This is what yogis are doing in their meditations, centring their awareness in the now. A lot of people can’t sit with their eyes closed for even 10 minutes that is basically because all they have done throughout their lives is thinking of them as the mental noise (field) and during meditation, they fear to realize the truth that they are beyond it. This very idea makes them anxious. However, it is high time to face it and master our own mind so that we stop being a slave to our past traumas, fears and habits.
People, who live in the field, should not expect peace, which comes when you simply observe the field and when you don’t have peace, how can you expect happiness?
What is creating suffering in this moment are your own thoughts and emotions, which might not be based on existential reality at all. We should think of thoughts as visitors, who come and go. We should never attach ourselves to them. Due to certain thoughts and emotions, we act impatiently and remain in a rush. We usually forget that we have a choice to either act compulsively or consciously. Compulsive activity will always lead to suffering, therefore, practising mindfulness is very important for our overall wellbeing. The psychological perception of time is actually an illusion.
Now, let’s analyze the base of all our compulsive thoughts. There are mainly three root causes of all suffering:
First, is the wrong perception of reality. When something doesn’t happen in our favour that doesn’t necessarily means life is happening against us. We should understand that we sometimes fall so that we can learn to get up. When you were a child, you fell off of thousand times before getting up. But, you never complained. You just persevered. Life is always happening for you, not to you. There is no such thing as failure, only lessons to be learnt. We need to cultivate warrior spirit and face whatever comes in front of us without complaining.
Secondly, we have way too much expectation from life and other people. When we invest in something, we are always looking for returns in the future. This goes for business, relationships etc. This is completely acceptable but the thing with expectation is that it takes you away from the present moment. Your mind starts to seek happiness instead of experiencing it. Furthermore, by doing this, we are giving our source of happiness into someone else’s hand, that way we become their slaves as their actions can decide our state of being. We should take complete charge and responsibility for our life and happiness.
The third reason is an extension of expectation only, which is, attachment. We hold on to million different people, things and beliefs whereas, we should not depend on anything other than ourselves for our happiness. We should not develop so much emotion that leads to the development of separateness. We then, start to defend certain things and go against others. We should train ourselves to look at everything equally and avoid creating differences. We are beyond our mind and body. When we attach ourselves to our thoughts and material possessions, we create bondage, which is not real existentially as change is the only thing that is permanent in this existence. If we won’t flow with life, it is obvious to feel stuck and miserable. Everything is temporary from our thoughts, body, possessions, parents and even children. Everything comes and goes, and clinging to a certain experience will only bring suffering.
Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.
- Dalai Lama
Once we have stopped creating suffering for ourselves then, we can actually start looking for bliss. There are three guaranteed ways to bring bliss into your life that lasts forever:
1. Compassion: Being empathetic and feeling other’s pain has been proven to bring happiness. When we focus on other’s pain and suffering and open our heart towards them, our own problems start to look very small. We start embodying love, which brings spiritual strength and confidence. Practicing compassion is crucial if we want to feel good about ourselves. It is the quickest way to stop living inside our heads and become more alive.
2. Altruism: Selfless actions might sound scary in the beginning, as we are not used to living with whatever is there. We have always created a sense of separateness in our minds, which has brought all the suffering in the world. But, once you start becoming selfless, you experience a sense of oneness, which brings bliss into your being. Furthermore, all the selfless actions have a glory attached to them that lasts a lifetime. They are very necessary for our long-term sense of happiness and contentment.
3. Meaningful Life: We should practice self-discipline and integrity towards our goals. But, we should also make sure that our actions are serving something greater than ourselves and ultimately our purpose should be to somehow play our part in raising the collective consciousness of the planet. Businesses can either empower or drain the society. For example, vegan restaurant owners are promoting healthy eating whereas coca-cola is polluting the health of millions. Start or work for a company that serves the planet in some ways. Have strong morals and always be true to yourself.
In conclusion, if we could simply take off our future expectations, past attachments and just be in the present moment, we will realize that misery is created by your own mind, it doesn’t exist in reality. Furthermore, if we remove the three roots of suffering (wrong view, expectations, attachments) and plant seeds of love (compassion, altruism, meaningful life), our life will blossom automatically and we won’t have to depend on anything outside our bodies for joy.