My Crippling Addiction

Hearts — little green hearts. But they’re just the symptom…

The visual manifestation of a big problem

I have a confession: I am addicted. I go to bed thinking about them. I wake up craving them. Wherever I am, I scrounge around compulsively, in case some have popped up. I can’t help myself.

I need little green hearts. Recommends. “Recos” the kids on the street call them.

Ever since the ship of Medium took off, with me on board, I’ve been aching for those green hearts (didn’t they used to be black? Never mind — no time for that now). That pleasure center of my brain throbs whenever I see that little green dot next to the bell on the Medium app on my phone.

Oh sweet, sweet recommend heart. When I see how many I have in the morning, I’m glowing — until I realize it’s not enough! I need more!!! And so it goes — the latest symptom of an ongoing sickness that I’ve had for a long time. Might you have it too?

It’s an addiction — a dependence on validation. I’ve had it since I was a child, and I’ve never outgrown it. Those green hearts are now just a visual representation of that intoxicating feeling that I’ve spent so much time and energy pursuing. It is right in front of me — hour after hour. I am as validated as the number next to that little green heart. That is how good I am.

In All Seriousness…

Here’s my worry: I worry that Medium’s recommends may be bad for me — really bad.

I want to write to better myself. I want to write to help others. I want to share my experience, and flesh out my thoughts and feelings. I also want people to read what I write. That has caused me to write stuff I might not otherwise write — to overreach, to make click-baity titles just to grab in readers.

I know I’m not the only one, either. I see it all over.

I also see pieces specifically written with the aim of teaching others how to get more readers. Very little of the advice is about writing better material; it’s essentially about using tricks to get people to click on a piece. That’s not what I want deep down.

Even if I were to get a bunch of readers and recommends by using the “tricks for clicks” approach, it’s not sustainable. I would end up in one of two positions:

1. Forced to write the exact same stuff that got people to click in the first place, so I can keep them clicking.
2. Writing better stuff that I want to write, but losing readers and recommends.

I don’t like either situation. So what I need to do is take some advice that my lovely (and wise — suspiciously wise) wife once gave me: write stuff that you think is good and that fits you; the rest will come in due time.

My writing may have catchy titles at times, and other times it may not. But my effort must remain on ensuring that I’m writing for the sake of the material, and not for the sake of how many people I want to read it. There are ideas I care about: creativity, wisdom, self-improvement, productivity, mindfulness, etc.

Part of me knows that as long as I devote thought to those and find interesting things to say about them, people will (eventually) read what I write. If I can be so bold as to suggest: try to do the same thing, folks. So long as you do, I don’t think you can lose.