Why You Should Make Older Friends
It’s hard to say when and how people become friends.
Sometimes it starts when you play with the same toys in preschool, or when you hate the same people in elementary school, or when you have the same smoking spot behind the portable in high school.
As I stumble through some of the most trying months of my life, I continue to look inwards at the things and people that define and help shape who I am.
One of the common threads between the amazing people that continue to support me is that they are all older than me — about 3–7 years older, to be precise.
The thing about older friends is that they’re pretty easy to look up to. You get a deeper look inside the things that they do that you don’t get to see with a boss or a mentor.
Mentors are great, but friends that inspire you are even better.
You Can Learn From Their Successes
Your Facebook Messenger notification goes off, and it’s the 52nd of a chain of messages in your group chat.
Your friend just got promoted.
Or they just bought their first house with their partner.
Or they started their own business and they landed their first client.
All of the things! Of course these are all cause for celebration.
It’s easy to see ourselves paling in comparison to the accomplishments of others. But when it’s our friends, we get an opportunity to learn everything about how they got there.
You also learn that time isn’t a barrier to doing great things.
Your friends are living proof that good things can happen when you’re 26, or 27, or 31, even if good things aren’t happening to you when you’re 23.
You Can Avoid Their Mistakes
Part of having a friend is hearing the nitty-gritty of their daily lives.
They tell you about their bad dates and their horrible Tinder experiences.
They tell you about the lousy work days, and the days they just curl up in bed and watch Netflix instead of doing something productive.
They tell you when they’re exhausted, or angry, or upset, and sometimes that’s with you.
You learn that the friends you look up to are human too, and that they aren’t perfect — which is a good thing.
Through their mistakes you can get a heads-up about what to avoid or what’s coming your way, like bouts of unemployment and bad breakups, or even worse: actually caring about your expenses (thanks, Des.)
But most importantly, you learn that everything ends up alright anyways.
As I stew each night in some new fresh hell of an existential crisis, I keep centering on how fortunate I am to have a handful of outstanding friends who have helped and continue to help me not only set a high bar for myself, but discover what that bar even is in the first place.
Time travel is theoretically possible, but it’s pretty damn unlikely we’ll see it in practice any time soon.
Having older friends is a way of cheating the system just a little bit by letting you get glimpses of the future, and that’s why I love having so many of them around.
If you haven’t already, make a friend who is older than you. Or someone younger, whatever. None of these are really age-sensitive.
Just don’t be afraid to look up to them, learn about all the great and shitty things in life, and apply those to your life.
And then become that older friend yourself.
Thank you for reading! 📖 ☕
Don’t forget to recommend and share, then follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’m often talking about my friends’ awesome projects, which you should definitely be checking out.
Here’s a few of my previous pieces that you can read, if you’d like:
- Binge-Watchers Think They’re Better Than Us
- No: there ARE enough hours in the day. You’re just doing too much shit.
- Everyone Should Work a Shitty Job (At Least For A Bit)
